Best Sex in the Stacks: Atonement What Goes Down: A passionate lead–in leaves Keira Knightley clinging to the library ladder for stability and moaning as she bangs around the books. Why It’s Hot: The contrast of skin against Knightley’s deep–green satin dress creates an irresistible sensuality. Hot Scale: 5/5
Best Lesbian Sex: Black Swan What Goes Down: An ecstasy–fueled night ends with Portman and Kunis furiously hooking up on Portman’s bed. Why It’s Hot: The intensity of Portman’s descent from white to black swan climaxes as she and Kunis writhe and moan — gracefully, of course. Hot Scale: 5/5
Best Literary Sex: Shakespeare in Love What Goes Down: Forbidden love and beautiful prose come together in a rehearsal to remember as Fiennes and Paltrow take their on–stage love behind closed doors. Why It’s Hot: Pillow talk is taken to a new level with some of Shakespeare’s most famous double entendres. Host Scale: 4/5
Best Sex in the Rain: The Notebook What Goes Down: The rain and engagement can’t stop Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams from jumping each other outside and taking it back to a steamy bedroom — not even taking enough time to remove the pearls. Why It’s Hot: The soaked-to-the-bone wall sex makes us almost as wet as them. Hot Scale: 4/5
Best Adulterous Sex: Match Point What Goes Down: Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Scar–Jo break the sexual tension and their relationships — with people who happen to be siblings — by risking everything for a roll around in Jo’s dorm–sized flat. Why It’s Hot: Something about the thrill of getting caught — both in sex and murder — leaves us begging for more. Hot Scale: 3.5/5
Best Life–Threatening Sex: Shoot ‘Em Up What Goes Down: Owen shoots down all the bad guys while simultaneously screwing Belushi. Why It’s Hot: Belushi’s orgasm comes with a bang — quite literally. Hot Scale: 3.5/5
Best Hooker Sex: Pretty Woman What Goes Down: Roberts and Gere seal the deal on top of the Beverly Wilshire’s piano — without kissing on the mouth. Why It’s Hot: The impromptu piano key soundtrack ups the intimacy level even more than Roberts’ black silk teddy. Hot Scale: 3/5
Best Narcissistic Sex: American Psycho What Goes Down: Christian Bale distracts himself with his own reflection while choreographing some XXX with two prostitutes. Why It’s Hot: It’s not. Christian Bale is. Hot Scale: 1/5
Best Puppet Sex: Team America: World Police What Goes Down: Puppets Carson and Lisa do it in every possible way at their secret Mount Rushmore base. Why It’s Hot: Raunchy sex in the name of patriotism. America, fuck yeah! Hot Scale: 0.5/5
Best Masturbation Scene: American Pie What Goes Down: Jason Biggs’ attraction to home–grown pie is taken a little too far when he finds out just how warm and moist apple pie really is. Why It’s Hot: Ew. Hot Scale: 0/5
