Rush may be over, lovelies, but don’t get too comfortable, Highbrow is here to entertain and amuse with all of your crazy stories—pledging or otherwise. So take a quick break from spreading the plague (we see you, dude sneezing in Williams) and let something a little more interesting go viral. Living out the fantasies of middle schoolers everywhere, two chocolate–covered SK girls got into a fight outside of the Sammy bid day party this past weekend. Now whatever you may be thinking, just stop right now. You’re disgusting. Chocolate syrup and whipped cream are staples at this dessert–themed jamboree. Unclear as to what these sisters were fighting about, but one thing’s for sure: I scream, you scream, we all scream for wet dreams. Isn’t that just the cherry on top of the night? Good news for our nocturnal friends over at 4k Pine (for now)! Highbrow hears that Owls got more than a couple new brothers this pledge season—and by more than a couple, we mean one more. Yes, these newest birdies are about to be the three best friends that anyone could have. So much so that they’ve taken to spending their evenings together, even when their bid day party is unexpectedly canceled—in an act of sheer brilliance, the trio headed over to the Rave instead, still dressed for a night out. Wonder if they saw “Zero Dark Thiry” (minus 27)? After receiving their bids, two freshmen girls found themselves behind HUP doors after catching a nasty drunken case of Alpha Phiver. Don’t worry, we hear both girls are phine. But that’s not all the action the hospital saw this past week. One ZTA sister received several stitches after smashing her face on the concrete after falling out of a cab. Never fear, sweetie, we’re sure you won’t have obvious Frankenstein scars. Worse comes to worse, you still have a great personality.

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