Sarah Tse | 34th Street
 

Luckily, the food at the Pub On Passyunk East speaks for itself, because the staff certainly doesn’t. Save for one nice but overeager waitress, the employees at this South Philly gastropub were impossible to find or speak with. Even entering the restaurant proved to be a nightmare, fraught with complications from an overzealous doorman. While it might be a fine place to grab a cold beer and watch a hockey game, an appealing night out it is not.

Located on the corner of a street that looks like it belongs more in a snow globe than in South Philly, the classy bricked archways and hardwood floors of this hobbit–hole of a bar speak nothing to the dinginess inside. The small but surprisingly varied menu offered not just your standard fare of burgers and bar food, but also a variety of vegetarian options, including a seitan cheesesteak and hummus with goat cheese.

Next to some particularly rowdy Flyers fans, I started my meal with nachos ($6) topped with jalapenos, salsa, sour cream and guacamole. Although certainly delicious and perfectly proportioned, these particular nachos were nothing you couldn’t have made at home after a quick trip to FroGro. I also sampled the pierogies ($6) and the seitan fingers ($7). Served with sour cream and sautéed onions, the pierogies were head and shoulders above the rest of the meal. Light, fluffy and buttered to perfection, these dollops of cheese and potato were the light in an otherwise considerably bland storm. And while the POPE clearly prides itself on its various seitan dishes, I found the lumps of meat substitute to be rather off–putting.

As a main course, I tried a standard POPE burger and a side of fries ($9.50). The burger was so greasy that it was impossible to pick up (a positive or a negative depending on your preference). In cutting open my burger, I couldn't imagine a plainer one. Aside from the copious amounts of grease, this burger was tasteless—wasted calories and nothing more. Besides the pierogies, the one redeeming factor of the meal was the fries. Salted lightly and not too greasy, they were superb and could have satisfied me for a whole meal.

Although this pub offers a completely inoffensive meal at a relatively cheap price, there were few qualities that make it worth the trip. Unless you’re in the neighborhood, the time depleted venturing out to this wayside would be better spent at one of the other adorable places in this picturesque corner of South Philly.