Street: How did you lovebirds meet? Ian Bussard: We were forced to. It wasn’t a choice. Elizabeth Horkley: It wasn’t until January 2012, for DP training, but I had long been a fan of his Facebook profile. IB: Yeah, I saw you in the office the summer before but you never said hi. EH: That’s because we’re both cold and standoffish people. Although when we got hired, I sent you that email saying “Ian, I’ve had a crush on you for a really long time…” You replied with a lot of crab emoticons. IB: I have that email starred in my inbox. There was glitter going on too.

 

Street: Elizabeth, what was the highlight of your Street career? EH: As Film editor, I was flown out to L.A. and put up in the Four Seasons for a press conference with Christian Bale for “The Fighter.” Oh, and also my lovely staff and all the friends I made! They made me love Penn.

 

Street: What was the hardest part about being on the editorial board? EH: It was weird to deal with complaints and realize how much people take what you say into account. IB: Oh yeah, commenters are just the worst.

 

Street: Did you get a lot of backlash for exposing stuff on campus? IB: Sometimes. I would get looks. My vest–wearing professor called me out when I wrote he was teaching a class on the history of vests for Joke Day! But it had its perks. Amy Gutmann knows who I am…Chasing Amy works.

 

Street: What’s changed the most since you came to Penn? EH: The most monumental seismic shift for me was the closing of Won Chinese; that really shattered my world. And the loss of the FroGro wine kiosk. What was it called? IB: THE PRONTO. EH: Yeah, the only changes on my radar have been food–related. IB: Also, Amy got a couple billion for Penn. EH: Penn got a little richer. I got a little poorer. IB: Facebook changed.

 

Street: What’s your greatest accomplishment at Penn? IB: I founded Penn’s cat video listserv. It’s called Kitten Cutletz, we’ve got 70, 72 subscribers now. We had Fling tanks this year. People loved them. EH: My best moment was designing those Fling tanks, then. IB: Oh, I submitted gossip about that thing that happened during Fling to the Round Up this week! EH: You submit every week. About yourself. IB: That’s not true. I did it once.

 

Street: What will you miss most? IB: Koja. EH: Beijing. IB: See, that's where we're different. EH: Also the world–class academics and fine facilities! IB: Oh yeah, I'll miss the Jaffe art history building. EH: Also the first few warm days of spring, which are unrecognized national holidays. The smell of cherry blossoms and manure...

 

Street: There are two types of people at Penn… IB: Those who got it and those who ain't. EH: Those who twerk and those who work.

 

Street: Cast who would play the other in a biopic and what each film would be called. IB: She’d be played by Tilda Swinton. It’s called “Jesus Take the Wheel.” EH: All of mine will be really esoteric. I was a film ed after all. IB: I don’t care, as long as they got them cheekbones. EH: Okay, Morrissey in a Bobby Fischer-esque musical tale about his viola playing. IB: I play in a quartet in the Penn Chamber Music Society. Would it be called “Precious”? EH: I want a “RuPaul’s Drag Race” reference… it’s called “Shantay You Stay.” IB: “Shontay you PLAY.”

 

Street: On a related note, who’s your alter ego? EH: People have told me I’m Helga Pataki–ish. And Catherine from “Wuthering Heights.” As in the one who screams a lot and then dies. IB: Well, I am known as Spooky Bussard. EH: Ian read me this tweet that said, “I bet when Helena Bonham Carter makes pancakes she makes spooky pancakes.” We just started saying “spooky” all the time. IB: So I changed my Facebook name to Spooky. When the sunglasses are on, Spooky’s out. EH: I say Spooky’s always out. Also, this will come across as the biggest compliment ever, and I don't want to inflate your ego, but you’re a little Bowie–esque. In the asexual alien way with really nice hair. IB: Oh good, I'll take that. I thought you were going to say Hillary Clinton.

 

Street: Who were you in your past life? EH: Ian was an elderly Upper West Side socialite who lives in a mint green apartment and only wears Chanel suits. The money just keeps coming from a long–dead husband. IB: Yours is a bit less glamorous, but… Emily Dickinson? A posthumously famous poet, who’s maybe a recluse. EH: DON’T CALL ME EMILY DICKINSON IN PRINT!

 

Street: Describe yourself in five words or less. EH: Don’t care. Love it. IB: Unst Unst Unst Unst Unst.

 

Street: What would you tell your freshman self? IB: Once you leave your dorm in the morning, don’t go back until you’re going to bed. EH: I would tell myself to chill. No matter who you are, Penn people will love you. Because there really is a niche for everyone. Me and Penn, we’re cool.