JAP: How does Ernest Owens have a boyfriend and I don’t? (Ed. Note: Ernest also was selected for EOTW and you weren't.)
Guy on Locust: They couldn’t get actual drugs, so she took a horse tranquilizer.
Pledge: My Tinder standards are, like, not as low as my real standards.
Hipster: Once I realized they were in Pikapp I was like “WTF” because I thought they went to Drexel.
