7:30 p.m. Unsurprisingly, it is difficult to navigate a crowd when you’re five feet tall.

7:33 p.m. Whoops, lost my friends.

7:40 p.m. Watch performer dance with burning batons. Yeah, I could do that too.

7:42 p.m. Partner comes out with some sturdy looking nunchucks. Is he planning

to set those on fire?

7:43 p.m. Walks away from potentially burning nunchucks to seek nourishment.

7:50 p.m. Is there not a single line with less than 50 people in it?

7:55 p.m. Find line with a reasonable amount of people and Ethiopian food.

7:56 p.m. Is the quality of a woman contingent on how much obscure meat she

comfortably eats?

7:57 p.m. But like, who doesn’t love things on a stick? (I buy three skewers)

8:07 p.m. Consider dancing in the street to some bitchin’ swing music.

8:10 p.m. Redcap’s Corner is selling toy models and Pokemon cards outside. So this is where I meet my future husband, right? 

8:12 p.m. But actually where have all these attractive West Philadelphian men been hiding??

8:18 p.m. Try a Vietnamese spring roll with sweet and sour sauce from Vietnam Cafe. Decide I want to take a bath in this sauce.

8:20 p.m. Friend is determined to buy a cactus. We wander into a hole–in–the–wall garden with Christmas lights hung on brick walls.

8:23 p.m. She finds one. It’s called the “Hobbit.”

8:24 p.m. Decide I need to come back here in the daylight when I can comfortably carry around a potted plant hopefully named after other Lord of the Rings characters.

8:28 p.m. How #betchy would it be to buy pumpkin beer from the Dock Street table? Make a quick decision, they’re closing up shop.

8:45 p.m. A nice lady dressed as a lion paints our faces.

8:58 p.m. I walk back home with a dancing green alien on my cheek. Success.