- Get crop top–worthy abs (and still never wear crop tops)
- Stop crying at Smoke's
- Never drink again
- Workout on the second floor of Pottruck
- Stop snoozing
- Be open to new people
- Date guys before I sleep with them
- Stop swallowing semen
- Keep Plan B numbers in the single digits
- Never eat Allegro
- Delete all the boys I’ve hooked up with on Snapchat
- Stop seeking everyone’s approval
- Take better care of myself
- Send less dick picks
- Stop bullying my grandmother
- Love someone more than I love my dog
- Wax my balls
- Eat less DP Pizza
- Stop fucking around (literally)
- Date someone at Penn
- Read something interesting everyday
- Stop Snapchatting while I’m pooping
- Make an effort to be happier, nicer, and more optimistic
- Have more sex in cabs
- Stop worrying
- Learn to cook and stop microwaving Lean Cuisines
- Validate myself
- Get at least a B in a hard science class
- Be an unapologetically cynical bitch
- Be less of a bitch
- Drink tequila sparingly
- Stop Postmating CVS runs
- Only end one night out at Wishbone per week
- Smile more
- Fuck less Theta Xi guys
- Get dressed for class
- Maybe don’t throw up on anyone
- Stop fighting the homeless people outside of Wawa
- Brush my teeth twice a day
- Be outdoorsy
- Grow boobs (again…still coming in)
- Explore events in Philadelphia
- Stop smoking in 3rd floor purple suite Hill because we finally have a GA
- Dance like no one is watching
- Less weed, more heroin
- Make a move on my insanely hot GA
- Officially end my relationship with Bankers Club
- Stop being such a dick to my parents
- Talk less, listen more
- Cook dinner at least once a week
- Stop saying like
- Orgasm from sex
- Get laptop stickers that make me look cool and involved
- Stop going to Wawa sober
- Drink more (water)
- Do homework for once before the night before
- PennInTouch myself less
- Stop saying fuck so fucking much
- Have one less chin
- Read Street
