Our weekend was filled with all types of bowls: Super Bowl, Wing Bowl and a Chipotle burrito bowl. Highbrow likes it hot, so pile on your most picanté salsa. Hopefully, you can handle some serious spice because this week our gossip has a kick to it.
Have ewe herd the latest gossip about Pi Lam(b)? Sources tell us that one mystery student created a fake Facebook account disguised as a frat member. The mastermind proceeded to disseminate the fraternity’s “traditions” and "secrets." The rat leaked this coveted info to the frat members and rando Penn students alike. Looks like North Korea continues to wage cyber–warfare. Highbrow is swearing off kimchi in solidarity.
Sick of classes already? A sophomore girl got a little queasy on Locust Walk en route to class. Highbrow hears that our friend bent over and yacked in a bush near Annenberg. During their 10–minute Amazing Race to class, no students stopped to help the sickly sister.The only person to offer their services was a kind Penn maintenance employee. Highbrow hopes she gave a generous tip—tuition doesn’t cover this kind of cleanup.
Being Penn royalty, we never like to get our hands dirty. Highbrow leaves that to the peasants. At a frat party this weekend, a group of sceney freshman decided to form a human pyramid that would make the Egyptians jeal. Our mole tells us that after an unsuccessful attempt, one drunk girl became frustrated and started to cry. (Ed. note: For her mummy?) Tut tut, we hope these girls made a quick exodus to avoid any further embarrassment.
Speaking of Jews fleeing bad situations, it looks like AEPi will not be returning to campus this semester. Although the national organization supports the chapter, Penn has yet to approve. Highbrow promises to challah at you with an update soon.
The Round Up is a gossip column and the stories are gathered though tips and word of mouth. Although we verify all the information in the Round Up with multiple sources, the column should be regarded as campus buzz and not as fact.
