Illustrations by Amy Chen


Balls 4 Balls

This business frat clearly knows how to grab life by the balls. Their meatball-eating contest raises awareness for testicular cancer, and will go through several rounds before the Kings (or Queens) of Balls are crowned. (Ed. note: King or Queen of Balls will most likely be a category in next year’s Senior Superlatives.)

Price: $10 for Teams of 2

2nd: SIG EP

Chapter House BBQ

Hot dog! Sig Ep boys are putting their wieners where their mouths are this year. They plan to hold a BBQ at their house the day before Relay with live music entertainment and hot dogs for all. Ego loves to eat and has never (maybe) made out with a hot dog, so we support this. Don’t forget the condom–ents!

Price: TBD for BBQ ticket

3rd: PIKE

Watermelon Eating Contest

This is Pike’s first year throwing a watermelon eating contest. We’re handing them third place mostly because there will be so many opportunities to sing “I’ve been drinking watermelon.” #bey

Price: Not yet announced


Honorable Mentions:


Circle K: Selling Puppy Chow on Locust Walk and at Relay

Puppy Chow is a drool–worthy dessert made of Chex Mix, peanut butter and chocolate (so it's basically just sugar). If you missed Therapy Dogs last week, puppy chow should do the trick.

Price: $3 for 1 container, or $5 for 2 containers.


Colleges Against Cancer: Pie the Presidents

During Relay, the CAC Team will have jars for each member of their exec board, and the member whose jar has the most money at the end of the event will get pied in the face. We applaud their self–sacrifice, but this won’t stop us from eating it off their faces.

Price: Up to you                        

Alpha Delta Pi: Pretzel Sale on Locust Walk

Penn’s newest sorority will be selling pretzels on Locust the week before Relay. We hope to see some “hot and twisted” jokes galore (Ed. note: Sex sells, even pretzels).

Price: $1 per pretzel