Holy shit—the Pope is coming. We hope you behave yourself this weekend because his holiness doesn’t tolerate sinners.

Ain’t no party like a pizza party. After attending Wharton MBA Out4Biz’s annual White Party, one senior boy found himself locked out of his apartment. Standing in the hallway of Pine Arms with a slice of Allegro pizza in hand, he loudly banged on the apartment door hoping someone inside would wake up and let him in. Unfortunately, he woke up his neighbors instead. One sleepy, grumpy neighbor berated the drunk senior and things got physical—in the heat of the moment, the neighbor punched the senior’s pizza to the ground (Ed. note: um, the pizza is just a bystander). After an exchange of apologies, the neighbor went back into his apartment, and the senior boy naturally went back to Allegro to replace his slice of pizza. Thankfully, his roommate let him in the next time he got back to his apartment. On the bright side, he ended his night with some sort of pepperoni.

Highbrow loves a good a boozey brunch. One senior girl got nice and shwasty at Owls brunch this weekend. After finishing her drink, she chucked her empty cup into the trashcan. However, the security guards found this act to be threatening to other mingling party goers, and they subsequently kicked her out. Apparently “fire in the hole!” isn’t a joke when you’re brunching on a battleship. When she got home, the girl attempted to cook rice in soak up some of the booze. She burned the rice and set off the fire alarms in her house. Talk about a sticky (rice) situation.

Carpe diem—seas the day. We hear that one brunch attendee got a little seasick. As the sun shined, beats dropped and bitches brunched, one senior boy drank more than he could handle. The photographer noticed the boy wasn’t looking so good and snapped a photo of the senior (on his personal iPhone) as he puked off the boat’s side. What a nauti–boy! This photo may not end up on Facebook, but this photography has some seriously good blackmail material. Remember kids: when it comes to drinking, don’t crack under pier pressure.


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