Smokes’ quizzo: it’s the best of times, it’s the worst of times. It’s a forum for Penn students to exercise their competitive nature AND to drink. Things can get...messy.
Highbrow knows how much you love winning. You probably love winning almost as much as we do. But we’re in a magnanimous mood, so here are some tips to wipe the floor with the other teams next Tuesday night.
Part 1: Composition
Forming a team is the most important step.
Some will tell you to find people who seem to know a little bit about everything. This is wrong. Dilettantes are great at a dinner party, but when it comes to quizzo, specialization is the name of the game.
You’ll need someone who’s taking geology. And before you ask, no, “Earth Through Time” does not count. These people are hot commodities, so please note that you may have to bribe them with a comparatively larger portion of the $50 bar tab. All’s fair in love and war.
Other possible first–round picks include: the music buff, the kid who knows everything there is to know about American Revolutionary history, the girl whose first priority upon waking up is checking the DailyMail/Cosmo snap stories, and you, the fearless leader.
Part 2: Training
If you’re really serious about this (and Highbrow knows you are), you’re going to have to give up a few of your Tuesday nights to observing the game before you dip your toe into the proverbial waters. Find a corner table and bring your legal pad; you’re going to want to make up a practice test.
Assemble your team a few days before the deadline—use the guise of a "wine night" to test their general knowledge skills under laboratory conditions. It's crucial to your team's success that each member be a competent drunk. Don't hesitate to cut team members who fail the test. As any good Wharton snake/intellectual history major will tell you, the end justifies the means.
Part 3: Execution
The key to executing a winning game of quizzo boils down to two things—the first being your preparation, and the second being your collective level of intoxication.
We’re talking about that sweet spot, around 11 p.m., during which you’re blissfully unconcerned what the other bar patrons think of you. This sweet spot will also let you be extra assertive in rushing for the right answer. But we’re warning you, don’t go overboard. Serious quizzo–ers err on the side of caution when it comes to liquid courage.