I planned to watch the election results with a couple of friends while I studied for my exam the next day. I figured I would sit on the couch, watch the votes roll in for Hillary, listen to an inspirational acceptance speech, and go to sleep feeling like I just experienced a key moment in history for America, and particularly for American women. When I was 11 years old and asked my mom if she thought a woman would ever be president, she told me that if anyone could do it, Hillary could. I believed her.
What happened last night was anything but what I expected. I felt like it was a sick joke as I heard the first rumblings that Trump was winning Florida. I watched in horror as more and more of the map turned red. I kept waiting for the newscaster to say they had it wrong, breaking news, Hillary is actually winning. But that didn't happen. Instead, I sat with my mouth agape as it was declared that Trump had won. My heart was racing, my head was hurting, and my eyes could not accept what was happening before them. As I watched Trump claim the presidency, I had the distinct feeling of being in another universe. It was just too surreal. This isn't the way it's supposed to happen.
When I woke up in the morning, I had three seconds of bliss- those moments where your brain hasn't caught up to reality yet and everything is calm. Then it hit me like a pound of bricks. Donald Trump is going to be president. My president. Our president. I dragged myself to class and was fully aware of the dread and gloom surrounding me. It was not a good day. Will it be a good four years? The more time I have had to let the results sink in, the more frightened I have become. How can a man who stands for so much that is un-American become our president? As the daughter of an immigrant, I am ashamed that this country could shut the doors on people like my father, someone who was looking for a better life in the land of freedom. As a woman, I am disgusted that this country would allow a man with zero respect for women in the White House. But even more than that, I am scared. And that's what has kept the tears rolling down my face all day long. The fear of what is to come from this bigoted, homophobic, racist man we will soon call Mr. President.