It’s the third week of the Bachelorette, and the guys are finally catching on to what we’ve known since the very beginning: Clare’s obsessed with Dale.
The episode continues with the pre–rose ceremony cocktail party. As we saw last week, Yosef’s upset about strip dodgeball, and continues to criticize Clare and her “red flags” with the other guys. He eventually confronts her directly, beginning a tailspin of a soliloquy that starts with her reaction at the last group date and ends with him begging for a "two–sided" relationship. Yosef then starts full–on verbally assaulting Clare, stating he was “absolutely appalled by the group date” and that he's even "ashamed to be associated with [her]." He complains about how she’s not setting a good example for his daughter and calls her crazy. This, of course, doesn’t sit well with Clare, and she decides she’s done listening to him. “Do not stop me," she says when he interrupts her—as she should.
She sends him home on the spot, responding the same way she did to Juan Pablo “Never in a million years would I think I would have to tell [a man] again I would never want them to be the father to my child," she says, clearly shaken by the similarities. As Yosef walks to the SUV, he shouts back a couple more insults, including: “I expected way more from the oldest bachelorette."
Clare storms off in tears, and we get another iconic quote from her: “I’m the oldest bachelorette who’s 39 and sitting here single because I didn’t settle for men like that."
Dale comes to the rescue again—which is a little bit too much of a coincidence to not be staged—and comforts her. She confesses her love for him in the interview again, forcing us to wonder the same thing: When the fuck will she call this thing off? As she states herself, it’s not even the second rose ceremony, and she's already got tunnel vision.
Clare’s too distressed to continue with the cocktail party, so they cut straight to the rose ceremony. Dale, Zac C., Demar, Riley, Brendan, Jordan, Joe, Jay, Bennett, Ben, Eazy, Ed, Ivan, Kenny, Zach J., Jason, Chasen, and Blake M receive roses.
DeAnna Stagliano makes an appearance the next day and gives some advice to Clare, who spends the whole conversation gushing about Dale and her feelings for him. She tells her that “when you know, you know," which encourages Clare even more to pursue Dale.
It’s group date time with Jason, Jay, Eazy, Chasen, Blake, Ed, Riley, and Dale, but Clare decides to cancel the day section of the date, much to the disappointment of the guys. She says she prefers spending “quality time” at the cocktail party—which really just means she wants to spend time making out with Dale.
During the cocktail party, Dale starts off with a short speech about wanting to get some things off his chest and “talk” to Clare first, before encouraging them all to do a group hug—you know, circulate positive vibes and all that bullshit. The pair leave for Clare’s room, but they end up not doing much talking. Clare’s clearly smitten with Dale. "Why are you so perfect?" she asks him while they make out on her bed.
It’s not until Eazy shows up at the door looking for Clare that they stop. She talks to him briefly before asking the producer to “hurry the rest along”. What happened to loving all the guys? After that, Clare talks briefly with the other contestants. All being irked by Dale taking up so much time, they get more aggressive. She has a brief conversation with Ed before Riley interrupts. She speaks with Blake, then Jay, and then Dale again. Clare invites Dale in, and they continue straight from where they left off in the room.
The guys are, understandably, pissed, and they confront him after. He tries to make excuses, claiming that he was just looking for the bathroom. No one believes him, and Riley calls him out, telling him to “just own it." Clare comes back to give away the group date rose, and—surprise, surprise—it goes to Dale. She thanks him for being bold and showing that he cares.
All this attention from Clare gets to his head a bit, but, to be fair, he’s in the lead by a large margin. The guys call him out again once they're back at the resort, and his response is that he’s “the best man suited." If the other guys didn’t like him before, they absolutely hate him now.
It’s time for the one–on–one date now with Zach J., which ends up being a spa day. There's pedicures, avocado face masks—really just mashed avocado—and lounging at the pool, but Clare's mind is elsewhere. If you thought this meant a break from hearing about Dale, you are sorely mistaken, because Clare takes every minute of her interviews to talk about Dale and how much she wishes he was there. That’s not a good sign for Zach J. or any of the other guys.
At the pool, Clare leans in for a kiss, but just stops. She claims that Zach J. leaned away from her, but he forcefully states that he did not, grabbing her neck multiple times to make everyone uncomfortable. She rushes away, ending the date.
Later on, Zach J. waits for his dinner date with Clare, but Chris Harrison shows up instead. He lets Zach know that Clare’s not coming, meaning that he’s being sent home.
The second group date consists of Kenny, Brendan Joe, Bennett, Ben, Jordan, Ivan, Zac C., and Demar. The theme is a Bachelors Roast, and they even have a celebrity guest, Margaret Cho. It’s almost like we’re back in the pre–COVID era of the franchise, where C–list celebrities help a bunch of boring guys be funny. The men are excited that they get some more personal time with Clare, especially now that Dale isn’t there.
Unluckily for them, the audience is the rest of the contestants—meaning that Dale will be sitting front and center. However, they make the most of this, and take the opportunity to roast Dale in front of Clare. The highlights: Dale talks a lot, Dale is the frontrunner, Dale is somehow disinterested in Clare.
I’m not sure why they thought that would change Clare’s mind about him, but it backfires. Clare doesn’t take it well, and she angrily says to a producer that it’s not right that “they’re dishing on my fiancé so hard." The relationships generally move fast in this show, but two weeks might be a little too soon to call someone your fiancé.
The guys finally get some one–on–one time with Clare during the nighttime part of the group date, but Clare is only focused on one thing: avenging her lover. Every single conversation, from Bennett and Jay to Zac and Kenny, is about the Dale jokes. At this point, the guys are frustrated, and to make matters worse, no one gets the group date rose. Clare justifies it, stating, “I actually did not get what I needed with you guys”—which seems to mean that she didn’t get enough information about Dale from them. Kenny summarizes their feelings perfectly with, “If you already got a boyfriend, what the fuck am I doing here?” and encourages the rest of the guys to walk off.
Luckily for us, and the contestants, next week’s promo seems to hint that Tayshia Adams is finally coming on the show with a slow–mo of her climbing out of the pool. An augur of good things to come, Tayshia's arrival means we might just get a semi–normal season of the Bachelorette.