Humor
Drink of the Week: Martini - Olives + Pickle
Because why do olives get to have all the fun?
Campus Complaints
Fling Artists “I saw them at Lolla. I blacked out before their performance, but it sucked.” “Is that that guy with the face who sings about ‘cars and hoes’?” “Why is it always rap artists?” “Why is it always DJs?” “They’re great, they’re just not a Fling artist.” ---------- Commencement Speaker “At least it’s not The Bachelorette.” “Don’t worry!
St. Patty's Day Pick-Up Lines
Is that a leprechaun in your pocket or are you just excited to see me? There’s nothing saintly about this Patrick. You must be a four–leafed clover because I’m lucky to have found you. Are you after me lucky charms? I wish I could stick my rainbow in your pot of gold. You look famished.
Top 10 Reasons to be Irish
1. The Potato Famine’s over. 2. You become a leprechaun on your 13th birthday. (12th for girls) 3.
Four-Leaf Clovers
'Tis the season to get lucky… here's to hoping.
Spring Break Friends
Your real friends aren’t home for Spring break…again. So you’ll just have to make-do.
Top 10: Campus Eatery Slogans
1. Hummus — Chick, p(l)eas(e). 2. Greek Lady — You say gyro (jai-roh), we say $6.25. 3.
Greek Gods As Greek Life
Though more like a bastard child of the IFC than the head of the organization, OZ bros bear an uncanny resemblance to Zeus because of their penchant for thunderous electro–trance beats and their tendency to be high in the sky. Like Athena, goddess of wisdom, the girls of SDT hold down the highest GPA in PanHel and are the patron goddesses of the arts.
Celebrity Look-Alikes
Sometimes, our professors are so engaging and inspiring that we spend all of our class time wondering who would play them in a Hollywood film.
The Passive Aggressive Dictionary
Fulfill your language requirement right here, right now, with Lowbrow’s handy–dandy insight into the language of passive aggression.
Top 10 Ways To Get Out Of Pledging
1. Ask Daddy to make a sizeable donation directly to Mr. P.
Top 10 Weighs to Lose Weight
1. Next time you’re at Kim’s food truck, stop by the big gray building next to it — the one that sells yummy smoothies. 2.
