1) Just had to make sure the ladies saw me and my bros lack of tan and abs
2) U should know that, while I'm a young leader, I can still make silly faces. Pennacle 5ever, lysm guys
3) Brb, UPenn is the real Jewish Promised Land
4) Already a college ambassador, doesn't matter that I've been a student for one second.
5) OMG Friends forever. Well, that is, until I take this exact same photo with chicks in my sorority in the spring. Love my sisters.
6) Not gay or a leprechaun, just an everyday badass who appreciates the majesty of rainbows.
7) See you at Kweder, lil' guy.
8) Follow me on instagram @everybasicgirl #penn
9) Bro, bro, I wasn't posing with the UPenn thing. I just wanted you to know my sister played soccer.
10) Already in Tabard, already more important that the girl writing this article.
11) Son, "But dad! I got into Penn." Dad, "I TOLD YOU YALE OR THE CELLAR!"
12) Waiter or scene? You decide.
13) RaGe, mAde in AmeRica was #so #fun
14) Still wearing a bump it, need we say more.
15) I need more soft filter, I want to look like a child beauty pageant headshot.
16) No matter what happens, she always bounces back.
17) Wait this isn't Brown?! Well can you take me to Bonnaroo at least?
18) Already in SK. Initiated last week. Fly on, little dove.
19) So proud of all that you've accomplished. Never stop stunting. XO, Mom
20) Wait, don't take it yet, I need to get my lanyard.
21) "Hello, angels." "HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII CHAAAAARRRRLIEEEEEE"
22) Please don't bring up Todd's condition, pixel face affects thousands of Americans every year and he's very sensitive about it.
23) People think I am a model or a very, very young husband.
24) Wait do I look pensive? On a scale from 1 to 10, how pensive do I look?
25) You've got some writing on your face.
26) Add him on Snap Chat––you may even get a dick pick with an artsy filter and outdated beer commercial reference.
27) Is it Tuesday? She's probably already at Castle in an outfit that costs more than your rent.
28) You are brilliant, want to write for street? Our meetings are at 6:30 on Thursdays.
