Picture this: A staff member walks in from the kitchen wearing a green unicorn horn and swaying to Jason Derluo’s “Wiggle.”
At one corner of the shop, a Warhol–style portrait of Sophia Petrillo looks down on you (as she should), and at the other corner is a fabulous–looking Betty White. The walls are also adorned with an emergency choking procedure sign featuring a unicorn doing the Heimlich Maneuver on Bea Arthur. As a self–appointed honorary Golden Girl, I was reborn.
Currently, they only offer three flavors of soft serve (vanilla, chocolate and flavor of the week), but the limitless topping choices provide endless variety. I was able to sample four iconic BGIC cones. Let the ice cream showdown begin.
THE TOP FOUR ’CREAMS
4. Rocky Roadhouse ($5.90)
Sorry, but Rocky doesn’t win first place this time. Some things don’t change. Like a lovable bear, Rocky Roadhouse is super soft but also heavy–duty. A mix of marshmallows and chocolate bits blankets the chocolate custard.
It loses points for the large chocolate to marshmallow ratio, which might intimidate the weak and even overpower the experienced. Though the chocolate may feel like a lot, if you’re a chocoholic, this is the ultimate bae.
3. Mermaid ($6.20)
Mermaid is no basic bitch. This ice cream has multiple layers, making it arguably more complex than your Math–114 homework. Modeled after key lime pie, Mermaid includes whipped cream and vanilla ice cream, offset by pie crust and key lime curd respectively. It is a beautiful artistic concoction of flavor that remains a modern classic.
The sour point here is its sweet cream topping, which can overwhelm the balance of the other flavors. In every good partnership, the top has to be fairly light so as not to overpower the bottom.
2. Salty Pimp ($5.90)
Remember those Mickey Mouse ice creams with the hard chocolate coating outside and soft vanilla inside? Remember how it would melt and create a mess, but you kept coming back to it anyway because you loved the way it hurt? This is the deluxe version of that.
The delightfully surprising caramel hits you as you bite into pockets of it hidden on the surface of the equally divine chocolate coat. The sweet to salty ratio is perfect, the cream is fresh and life is great.
1. Bea Arthur ($5.28)
Like the reigning queen it aims to emulate, this ice cream gets top spot in my heart. Bea Arthur begins with extra–soft vanilla ice cream and is coated with a drizzle of vanilla wafers with mixed–in dulce de leche (caramelized milk). Big Gay’s fresh take on the archetypal flavor combo makes this the winning cone. The final product seems so simple—despite its elaborate description. Try this cone and prove me wrong. You won’t though, because it’s amazing.
Location: 521 S. Broad (Corner of Broad and South Streets)
TL;DR: An homage to gay unicorns and old ladies. Ice cream showdown leaves Bea Arthur the winning champion of not only our grandma aspirations, but also our fantasy flavor league.
Don’t Miss: Do we really need to say it again? Bea Arthur or bust.
Skip: Being a lil bitch and getting a plain cone.
When to go: When you want to fall in love and fill your monthly lactose quota in one sitting.
Price: $$ (for ice cream)