No matter how much you ignore Facebook, it refuses to go away. It uses every tactic to make you stay, from creepy friendship reminders to "On This Day" notifications to being there when you're at work and your boss isn't watching. Before we were inundated with NSO pool party pics and invites to darties, these were the items that took over our newsfeeds:


#KimExposedTaylorParty
Because people have their priorities straight, celebrity drama trended over climate change, Brexit and the DNC. For anyone who doesn't already know: Kim Kardashian finally exposed Taylor Swift for the sneaky liar she is. In the biggest celebrity shakedown of the last five years, Taylor Swift cried "character assassination" and asked to be "excluded from this narrative" while the Kardashians looked on with glee. Facebook exploded with memes because it's always fun when it turns out the grounded girl–next–door was an evil cheerleader all along. 


#FamousMelaniaTrumpQuotes

T Swift wasn't the only celeb that Facebook users dragged through the dust this summer. After Melania read a speech plagiarized from Michelle Obama at the RNC, people stopped playing PokemonGo long enough to make #FamousMelaniaTrumpQuotes a thing. The best one? "I'd very much like to be excluded from this narrative. This is character assassination." Some things just write themselves.


Book Exchanges #SavetheCulture
While some people memed Taylor and Melania, others tried to "save the culture" by begging their Facebook friends to exchange books with them. This was a passive aggressive way of saying "you're all stupid and I'm scared" and an indirect way of saying "be impressed by how cultured I am and throw me a like."


Penn in New York: Take four million and three 
Penn loves New York; Penn loves external validation. If you don't have a photo album to prove otherwise, you may as well have spent four months interning in rural Oklahoma. And that's just like, self–character assassination. 


Tag @A and whoever pops up needs to buy you pizza
Like catcalling, dick pics and Ouija boards, has this ever worked for you?


Posts about why we should all vote for Hillary
Ugh, American politics are depressing. Can we all just tag @A and whoever pops up gets our vote?


Trump Yourself
The Donald has a knack for offending just about everyone and there's no telling who he will insult next. Thankfully, the Clinton campaign built an app allowing Facebook users to paste Trump–isms like "fat pig" and "you sweat like a dog" on their profile pictures. This means instead of waiting for Trump to insult you, you can Trump yourself. Thank you #HillaryForAmerica for giving us another way to become Facebook politicians shouting into an echo chamber of our peers.


What's a typical ____ line?
Bored sixteen–year–olds banded together to make this pointless status update go viral. Pretty soon everybody in the English–speaking world was posting this with implied disclaimers like "I gave into peer pressure" and "I don't know who I am without social media." What a time to be alive. 


Vacation Clichés
White girl rides an elephant in Southeast Asia. Sorority girls float in the Dead Sea. World travelers pinch the top of the Taj Mahal. Pics or it didn't happen but also, who even has the time to go through your Facebook photo albums these days? Not me.