Hit it: Bracket

Quit it: Fracket

With college basketball hitting its peak entertainment potential, going out is starting to get a lot less fun since everyone's eyes are glued to their phones for game updates. The rest of the non–sporty Penn people should all stay in and start watching because if you can’t beat ‘em, you might as well join ‘em. Who knows? Maybe you’ll make some quick cash on a bet or two.


Hit it: 3 parents

Quit it: 2 parents

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/science/ct-license-babies-dna-3-people-20170316-story.html

Science is taking a crazy turn and no, we aren’t talking about Bill Nye asking Trump to send humans to Mars. Instead, we’re talking about the new initiative in the UK that allows scientists to start “creating” babies from three DNA sources instead of the usual two. While this would allow for children to avoid certain weak genes or mutations, it could also lead to a mutant species that could potentially take over the world. A species even more mutant than the boys you saw dartying this weekend. But hey, at least when you want something from your parents you’ll have one extra person to annoy for it in the hopes that they'll give in. The real question is: will Amy Gutmann sell her DNA, and for how much? 


Hit it: Winter is coming

Quit it: Spring is coming

You might think this is in reference to the post–Spring Break blizzard that knocked out the much–wanted warm weather and replaced it with a cold front instead. But, dear reader, we’re not that predictable. News just came in that Game of Thrones will return on July 16th with bigger, badder and ballsier dragons (the size of a 747 jumbo jet supposedly). Why the upgrade? You might ask. Because when it comes to the Daenerys Targaryen and her dragons, size most definitely matters.


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