Just when you thought the passive–aggressive dick measuring contest was mostly channeled into beer chugging and “ratio” calculations, fraternity life at the University of Pennsylvania has found yet another highly contested but dubiously impactful, ranking system—Greek Rank.

For those blissfully unaware, Greek Rank is a messaging board where one can rate fraternities and sororities at any university, and even discuss pressing concerns related to Greek life. However, what Greek Rank is mostly used for at Penn is to argue over the minute differences in “ranking” between various frats at Penn. For example, recent posts include “Fall Rush Perspectives” and “NSO 2017 Rankings,” and their contents are just as self important as the titles suggest. Arguments often break out in the comment sections, and accusations of self ranking abound just because a certain person was offended their group was placed behind another. In short, Greek Rank serves as a way for frats to defend their egos and claim some sort of lease on Penn’s social life.

The most curious thing about this website, however, is that some people seem to take these rankings so seriously. One commenter even got theoretical in their analysis on the trend of ranking fraternities' clout; user “Very True” wrote, “There are 15+ on campus fraternities that will claim relevance on top of the five off campus houses. Pledge classes are smaller and therefore are subject to more variance. While top fraternities stay on the top and bottom ones stay on the bottom for the most part with little change, the middle 10–15 will move around over one's time at Penn.”

The real issue with how Greek Rank is used is that the commentary is appallingly self–aggrandizing and myopic. The truth is, whatever “tier” your Greek organization is during undergrad is inconsequential; beyond maybe alumni networks or other members, nobody is going to care even three years after graduation how your frat ranked on Greek Rank. Placing one frat a rank above another, or arguing about the downfall of a certain frat really means nothing to the vast majority of the student body, who either aren't involved in Greek Life or just simply don't subscribe to Greek Rank's bull. Using web forums to make Greek life at Penn so segmented and political is, well, stupid. Step away from the computer, stop cyber bullying each other through Greek Rank, get over yourselves, and move on. 


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