1.What is your favorite cuisine?:
A. Indian
B. Chinese
C. McDonald's
D. Falafel
2. What is the Taliban?
A. A prayer shawl worn by Orthodox Jews
B. A brand of mustard
C. The fundamentalist Islamic Theocracy that currently rules Afghanistan
D. Taliban? That ain't no America speak
3. The French:
A. Have a Napoleonic Complex
B. Are smelly
C. Don't speak English
D. All of the above
4. The proper military haircut is:
A. Clean-shaved head
B. One inch on top, nothing on the sides
C. A mullet
D. It depends on your rank, sir!
5. The Economy is plunging because of:
A. A complex variety of factors, including fluctuating consumer confidence, sinking corporate profits and rising unemployment
B. The Jews
C. Those fucking liberals
D. Homosexuals and abortionists
E. B, C and D.
6. Do you like my doggystyle?
A. Yes
B. No
7. President Bush is:
A. A chimpanzee
B. Dumber than a breadbox
C. Actually Scooby Doo
D. A dignified statesman, God-fearing Christian, and protector of the U.S.of A. And that's why he makes me proud to be an American.
8. The Government is:
A. Being run by a chimpanzee
B. Dumber than a breadbox
C. Dropping bombs on civilians and moving toward a ground war that it can't win
D. Slowly destroying all traces of civil liberty
E. Perfect in every way
9. Do you like Garth Brooks?
A. Yes
B. No
10. To be a good patriot I must:
A. Have at least five American flags in my sight at all times: one on my car, one on my front door, one on my desk, one on my mailbox and one tattooed on my girlfriend's ass
B. Replace all the songs on my play-list with variations of "God Bless America"
C. Set my alarm to wake me with "God Bless America"
D. Report all unpatriotic neighbors and family members to the Office of Domestic Security
E. All of the above.
Answers: 1)C; 2)D; 3)D; 4)D; 5)E; 6)A; 7)D; 8)E; 9)A; 10)E
If you scored:
1-2: You are a terrorist
3-7: You are a terrorist
8-9: You are a terrorist
10: You are an American. God Bless America.
