CELEBRATE GOOD QUAT, COME ON!
Kumquat Festival
Kumquat Theater
3500 Lancaster Avenue
Friday, November 9
8 p.m., Friday and Sunday $15,
8 p.m. performance, 9:30 p.m. benefit party, Saturday $25
(215) 382-2955
The folks putting together this little festival may be the only ones out there actively righting the history of wrongdoings that have fallen upon kumquats. After all, what worse treatment is there than neglect? The Kumquat festival celebrates all that is kum and quat by dancing like the love child of Baryshnikov and Pollack. Innovative, artsy-fartsy and described by Digitalcity.com as possessing "the superhuman strength of the most enlightened yogis," how can you miss this tribute of all tributes? That kumquat's gonna feel damn special after seeing your shiny face in the audience. But then, I bet he might feel suffocated by all this positive reinforcement and attention. Are we really just pushing our fruity little friend away with fancy foot-work and musical gyrations? Off he goes again, out with his friends, not calling, ignoring our physical proclamations of love, rebounding all over town with that slut pomegranate. Kumquat, we hardly knew ye.
The Women
Studio Theater, Annenberg Center
36th and Walnut streets
November 9, 10, 16, 17, 8 p.m., Free
A senior thesis project, The Women is co-directed by Rose Malague and David Fox of our theater arts department. Judging by the title, we're pretty sure that the play is about women. We're betting that it deals with women's issues like what material bikini is best suited for lesbian mud wrestling and the amazing invention of thong-shaped pantiliners. Of course, we're just hoping.
Lee Bul: Live Forever
Fabric Workshop
1315 Cherry Street
5:30 p.m. Opening Reception
Exhibit through January 5
(215) 568-1111
Taking his cue from Liam Gallagher, Lee Bul is gonna hey, stay young and live forever. Or at least his art will. Unless there's like, a huge gallery fire, and like, all his hard work goes up in flames. Yeah, then they wouldn't live forever. But optimism is good, right? But the optimism for living forever can only really lead to disappointment in the end. Unless there's this amazing technological breakthrough that lets us live forever. And ever.
Bloomers or briefs? Humor her way
Bloomers
Houston Hall Auditorium
8 p.m. November 9, 7 p.m. & 9:30 p.m. November 10, $6
Haha. Get it? Hint: Fruit of the Loom. Hmmm... Well, they did warn you that it was female humor. Some competition for Mask & Wig (yeah, bitches, you're not the only ones who think you're funny), these gals are also of the cross-dressing variety. Maybe they took a visit to Shampoo and learned the trade.
Feast for the Eyes: 20th Century Prints
University City Arts League
4226 Spruce Street
Opening Reception 5-7 p.m.
Exhibit through November 28, Free
(215) 382-7811
Prints galore! Etchings, lithographs, silk-screens! According to the Arts League Web site, curator Sylvia Egnal says the show features prints from "the printmaking renaissance of [the] '60s and '70s." No matter what the medium is--art, music, dance--people named some period in its history a "renaissance." Translation: A rebirth or revival of some form that makes the rest of the work done before look like crap.
Tantric w/Oleander and Beautiful Creatures
Electric Factory
421 N. Seventh Street
8:30 p.m., $15/$17 DOS
(215) 627-1332
Funny how Tantric sounds a lot like Days of the New. Oh, wait, perhaps that's because three of the original Days' band members and a brand-spanking new vocalist named themselves Tantric. The split was supposedly due to creative differences. This infers that creativity exists, but sorry, boys, everyone's been doing tantric for years. At the very least, Kama Sutra sounds cooler.
Annual Philadelphia International Arts Expo
Liacouras Center
1776 N. Broad Street
Through Nov. 11
10 a.m., Free
(215) 204-2424
You know how it works. We tell you to go to these art exhibits even though we're not really sure what will be there and say how its bound to be a rare opportunity for you to witness such accomplished works. Why do we do it? Well, we're Guides and we kind of feel an obligation. We know you don't see enough art, we know you probably rarely leave University City and although many of you would rather pass out in a pool of your own vomit than get up and go to this Expo at least we've let you know what you're missing. We wonder, in fact, if anyone will even get to this sentence.
PennY Loafers:
Big Man-Boobs on Campus
Dunlop Auditorium
3450 Hamilton Walk
Through November 10
8 p.m., $5
Well, you have to admit that at least the name of the show is eye-catching. And they did use a pic from Fight Club on their flyer, which is a quality movie. But still, they're an a cappella band. And God knows we don't have enough of those to choose from. Is there really a difference among them? Don't they even sing the same songs, or at least choose from the same artists? Would it be asking too much for them to pen at least one original song?
Korean Karaoke Night
Chord on Blues
Irvine Auditorium
8 p.m., $6
That's right, kids, it's another a cappella group. But Chord on Blues is giving its show a little twist with some heart-stopping karaoke. The only time I went to K-town karaoke, the machine rated me at a 99. Shows you how much they know. All-male, perhaps CoB was shopping for mail-order brides in the karaoke videos when they thought of the title for the show.
