The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, 11:00pm, Comedy Central
The two-minute celebrity interviews are totally pointless, but otherwise Stewart and his correspondents put a very entertaining twist on the top news stories of the day.
The Daily Show was the first to break the story on Habitat for Humanity's monopoly on the global poverty housing market, and it revealed West Virginia's plan to isolate itself from the rest of the country in order to preserve its good genes.
Anyone who cares about the 2004 presidential election should be sure to watch "Indecision 2004" in order to make an informed voting decision.
Late Show with David Letterman, 11:30pm, CBS
Dave and Paul are still trying to decide if a bottle of soap will float. And if that isn't intriguing enough, where else will you see Alec Baldwin, a 14-year-old soccer star and Cyndi Lauper duke it out to win a platter of cold cuts from the Hello Deli?
The Tonight Show With Jay Leno, 11:35pm, NBC
Jay Leno should be the eighth wonder of the world. He took a ride on Johnny Carson's coat-tails, inherited a sweet gig at NBC that should have gone to a more talented host (Letterman) and now he gets to talk with high-profile celebrities. I mean, does anyone watch this guy's monologue? He's awful. I can tell bad jokes and make fun of newspaper typos. I want that job.
Late Night with Conan O'Brien, 12:35am, NBC
Ahhh, something about that puffy red hair makes me all tingly inside. Conan has been the epitome of comedy for 10 seasons straight; he's late-night TV's savior, but I don't think he could have done it without Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Triumph and Britney Spears should get together for the "If They Mated" skit. Wait, an even better match would be Conan and me. Now that's mating at its finest.
The Late Late Show With Craig Kilborn, 12:35am, CBS
5 Questions for Craig Kilborn:
1. Why'd you leave your nice gig at ESPN?
2. Why'd you leave your sweet gig at The Daily Show?
3. Do you think people watch your show for anything other than 5 Questions?
4. Do you actually think your career is going anywhere?
5. How long did you beg to get that gig in Old School?