Through Her Eyes: works in the photopoetic
University City Arts League
4226 Spruce Street
Mon-Thu, 1 p.m. - 6 p.m., free
(215) 382-7811
www.ucartsleague.org
Here's a great exhibit for all of you who love poetry but hate to read. Telling poems through pictures is a new innovative way to say something extremely simple in the vaguest way possible. A must-see for the international student in my writing class that still can't speak any English, and my TA from freshman year who loved writing chemistry haikus.
Group Exhibition
Pentimenti Gallery
145 N. 2nd St.
Thu, 12 p.m.-5:30 p.m., free
(215) 625-9990
Some people look at a torn up couch and see trash, others see a vehicle for their artistic expression, or sometimes they are just too cheap to buy a new couch. If you are the type who sees art everywhere you look, then check out the Group Exhibition at the Pentimenti Gallery.
"Traces of the Legacy of Lewis and Clark in Contemporary Art" illustrated talk
The Galleries at Moore
20th St. & The Parkway
Fri, 5:30 p.m., free
(215) 965-4027
www.thegalleriesatmoore.org
I don't know about you, but I hate reading. If Jesus really loved me, he would make it socially acceptable to be illiterate. The less I have to read, the better. So if you're anything like me, then this Lewis and Clark exhibit is right up your alley. Just wander through contemporary paintings and photography of the classic expedition and don't bother reading a word because there is an introductory discussion on the works, and it's led by a guy named Rock. No one really reads those wall panels anyway.
Tom McCloskey and the Mission Creep Extravaganza
Nexus Gallery
137 N. 2nd St.
Wed, 12 p.m.- 6 p.m., free
(215) 629-1103
Nexus Gallery resident artist Tom McCloskey allows lesser humans to view his work and shower it with praise or faux-intellectual art jargon as they see fit. McCloskey's pieces seek to find a dichtomy between two opposing forces using rock salt, beeswax, steel, velvet and video. So rather than spending your Wednesday afternoon literally masturbating, you can do it abstractly with McCloskey's work.
"Native American Visual Traditions" discussion
The Galleries at Moore
20th St. & The Parkway
Wed, 6 p.m., free
(215) 965-4027
www.thegalleriesatmoore.com
Moore College art event about the systematically disenfranchised -- smell an opportunity to seem really hip. If you may actually be hip, then who am I to make fun of Urban Outfitters? In any case, this looks like a value for those truly interested in art for whatever reason. There will be a discussion with an art professor and an art director.
AFTERNOON TEA with Prof. Liliane Weissberg
College Hall, 4th floor
3450 Woodland Walk
Fri, 4 p.m., free
www.philomathean.org/tea
I have always lived my life by two mottos: 1) If British people do it, it must be sweet. 2) If it's free, that's even better. Enter Afternoon Tea. What better way to spend a Friday afternoon than sippin' on some tizerp with the Philomathean Society? Now I'm no archaeologist, but the Philomathean society sounds pretty legitimate. I would drink from an open container they provided. As long as it's free. And the British have my back.
Christine Todd Witman
Free Library
1901 Vine Street
Fri, 7 p.m., free
(215) 567-4341
Former governor of New Jersey speaks to promote her book It's My Party, Too. Gee, another former politician writing a book. Well, it's her party and she can cry if she wants too. But seriously, maybe it will be interesting for two reasons. First of all, my roomate can't quit blabbing about Bill Clinton's My Life. Perhaps the affairs of former politicians are interesting, or at least scandelous. Secondly, remember what happened to the last governor of the good old Garden State -- ousted from power amidst a gay love affair! VHI presents "Behind the Scandles: Sex, drugs, rock & roll, garbage, and New Jersey."
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day Symposium: Jazz for King
DuBois House, multipurpose room
3900 Walnut Street
Fri, 6 p.m., free
www.upenn.edu/aarc/mlk
Because one day off in January just isn't enough time to celebrate the life of the King (and I don't mean Elvis), the Symposium on Social Change aims to bring us more. This fun filled event features Glenn Bryan's band "Friends," and an oral presentation by K. Rose Samuel Evans. Poetry will be read, jazz will be played and an all-around good time will be had by all.
Poetry Slam Featuring the Twin Poets
Painted Bride Art Center
230 Vine Street
Fri, 10 p.m., $5
(215) 925-9914
www.paintedbride.org
"Open Mike Poetry Slam" by Al & Nmandi finally makes poetry somewhat interesting. That title alone sounds pretty sweet, and this is coming from the poetry-hating queen of the universe. Hopefully with this genre of writing crossing over, other styles will also. Like limericks. Or leet.
The Groove Open Mic Jam Session
The Rotunda
4014 Walnut Street
Sat, 8 p.m., free
www.foundationarts.org
Every last Saturday of the month, the Rotunda opens its doors to the talented, talentless and the self-indulgent by having an open mic night. This session welcomes musicians, poetry slammers, vocalists and anyone else who thinks they have something profound to say. I always enjoyed poetry slams myself, until I got booed offstage one time for lamenting the evils of the oppressive white man. Then again, maybe that was just because I'm white.
Philadelphia Anti-War Forum Potluck
The A- Space
4722 Baltimore Avenue
Sun, 6 p.m., fee
www.phillyantiwar.org
Were you one of the original anti- Iraq war people? Did you stand for peace when it was like, totally uncool and freakishly weird? Well then, you true non-conformists probably already know about this meeting. But, for those of you who are hipsters, peace making is so totally in right now. Don't let the loss of our brother John (Yale sucks!) get you down. Go to the meeting to find out what you can do to make a real difference. What's that thing they tell you in second grade? Oh yea, eveyone matters. Thats right, you over there in the tie dye tee-shirt. You count.
Gene Warfare
Marbar
40th and Walnut streets
Mon, 6 p.m., free
(215) 573-6604
Nuclear, biological and chemical warfare, oh my! Why not add gene warfare to the list of reasons "Why the world is going to explode in the next say, five minutes!" Just kidding -- that is unless of course you are a regular Fox News viewer, in which case you may already have this list on your hard drive. In all seriousness, join biologist David Roos to learn about genomics and their role in the fight against emerging diseases. Perhaps with a bit of knowledge we can at least delay those silly Democrats from bringing about the Apocalypse.
LIVE at the Kelly Writers House
Kelly Writers House
3805 Locust Walk
Mon, 8 p.m., free
(215) 573-9748
www.writing.upenn.edu/~wh/index.html
The beauty of Penn is that you can go out and do hip intellectual things without ever having to deal with people who don't know what thefacebook is. At the LIVE, you can be part of an audience for a radio broadcast of poetry readings, and just think how much more you'll be getting out of the poetry when you can actually see the artists put words like "Reality" and "The Man" in hand quotes.
Artists Exchange
Mokas
3505 Lancaster Ave.
Tue, 10 p.m. - 12:30 a.m., free
(215) 222-4410
Performance artists, poets, musicians, oh my! Be very Coffee House circa '92 and check out some new-age beat nicks brought together in the spirit of self-expression, java, and inflated egos. I imagine this is where people from the Kelly Writers House go on their nights off.
The Enigma of the Leaning Tower of Pisa
Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology
3260 South Street
Tue, 6 p.m., free
www.sas.upenn.edu/earth/ies/seminar.html
Admit it, at some time you have asked yourself, in your best Jerry Seinfeld voice, "What is the deal with the Leaning Tower of Pisa? I mean it's falling over -- doesn't anyone else have a problem with that?" Sure, you always meant it rhetorically since no one really knows, but now all that guesstimating comes to an ultimate climax as your pressing inquiries are finally answered. So join us, as Nancy Drew teams up with the Super Mario Brothers to solve -- the mystery of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Northeast Comedy Cabaret
Best Western Hotel
11580 Roosevelt Blvd.
Wed, 8:30 p.m., $5
(215) 676-JOKE
Nothing says high quality entertainment like open mike night at the Best Western. It's not actually open mike night, but doesn't open mike night conjure images of middle-aged obese alcoholics heckling bad comedians in a random airport hotel. It could be just me. Fortunately, this club gets high marks -- unlike Northeast Philly.
Hill Film Society presents: Marnie
Hill College House
3333 Walnut Street
Thu, 8 p.m., free
(215) 898-5237
http://hill.house.upenn.edu/index.html
If you liked Entrapment for more reasons than Catherine Zeta-Jones' ass, than you should go to Hill House and check out Sean Connery in one of his original thief McThrillers, Marnie. For some of you, all I have to say is Alfred Hitchcock. For those who still aren't convinced, judge for yourselves: blonde goddess, Tippi Hedren, attempts to seduce/embezzle from Sean Connery who conducts an investigation with Hitchcock voyeuristic suspense.
Found Movie Night
The Rotunda
4012 Walnut Street
Fri, 9 p.m., free
(215) 573-3234
www.foundationarts.org/events.html
Ever wonder what happened to that home video you vowed to destroy? The one that was saved under the guise of, "you'll appreciate this some day." Well, that is bullshit. Chances are what scared you then will keep scaring you later in life. Unless you are Found director VJ Large Marge who believes these moments, once carelessly discarded, have entertainment value. Large Marge has set a diverse collection of home videos to music in the name of cinema. Check it out.
History, Memory and Cinematic Representation Film Series
International House
3701 Chestnut Street
Thu-Fri, 7 p.m., Sat-Sun 1p.m., $5
(215) 387-5125
www.ihousephilly.org
If you're feeling really academic and you don't like any of your classes, go ahead and see some intellectual films instead of studying for all your pre-med or Wharton classes. You're marginal utility will be high since these films are about memory, so you'll remember what time your pledge master told you to be outside tomorrow morning.
The Cutting Edge: Two Avant Garde Films
Metamorphasis and Decasia
Broad & Pine streets
Sun, 3 p.m. and 7 p.m., $10 includes both
(215) 446-3027
www.gershmany.org
The Cutting Edge is a cult classic -- an amazing journey into the world of international figure skating full of intrigue and toe picks. This is not the same film, unfortunately, so unless you know who Kafka is, don't go. If you do know who he is, I'd be really impressed. And that my friend, is rare indeed!
Blue Velvet
Film Culture Lounge
3909 Spruce Street
Mon, 8:30 p.m., free
(215) 898-5202
http://gregory.house.upenn.edu/fcp/screenings.asp
OK, so this movie is about a man who finds a severed ear in a field and decides to investigate it, only to discover the mystery involves a beautiful woman and an evil man. I don't know about you, but that movie sounds fucked up. You know what I would do if I found a severed ear in a field? I'd leave it. Or bury it. Or run away screaming.
Whenever Wednesday: Film: The Lady from Shanghai
International House
3701 Chestnut Street
Wed, 7 p.m., free
www.ihousephilly.org
The tagline to Orson Welles' 1947 film shrieks "The Story of a Reckless Woman!" and posters feature Rita Hayworth, that red-headed vixen, clasped in an illicit embrace with her lover. She plays the trophy wife of a rich old man, living a life of bored decadence; that is, until a young Irish sailor enters her life. By twists and turns, she toys with the handsome youth until he is ensnared in her deadly game, left to wonder aloud, "Do all rich women play games like this?" Oh man, I know what that is like. Last weekend this Theta girl I've been sweatin' made me lick the snow off her Ugg boots.
Emerson String Quartet
Perelman Theater
Kimmel Center for the Performing Arts
260 S. Broad Street
Thu, 8 p.m., $10-$21
(215) 569-8957
www.kimmelcenter.org
Philadelphia Chamber Music Society presents this quartet, which has become synonomous with the word excellent. Now for some of you, classical music is not appealing on first thought. But seriously, ya'll need to bring it back to the basics, to the roots of the music ( mostly crap) you listen to on your pop radio stations today. And, classical music is always a hot romantic gesture. Dress up, take her out, show her how much you "care." If all goes according to plan, you won't be going home solo esta noche!
Bright Eyes
Academy of Music
Broad and Locust streets
Fri, 8 p.m., $28
(215) 893-1999
www.academyofmusic.org/home.php
You all know who Conor Oberst is, right? No? Oh yes, I forget that sometimes idiots read this magazine. The singer/songwriter, whose current project is Bright Eyes, has been recording since he was 13, which I guess makes him some sort of prodigy. Some dismiss Bright Eyes as Emo, which is the equivalent to saying they absolutely suck, but I see more there. Plus, Conor Oberst is way hotter than Chris Carrabba.
Hilary Duff
Trump Taj Mahal Casino Resort
1000 Boardwalk at Virginia Ave.
Fri, 8 p.m., $50.50
(609) 449-1000
www.trumptaj.com
You probably fall into one of two camps on the Hilary Duff issue. Either you find great depth in the electronically doubled lyrics like "If you lose a moment / You might lose a lot / So why not, Why not?," or you're part of the group that would like to see her suffer from a rare skin disease. Either way, you can get what you're looking for this Friday, because rumor has it that Britney Spears may be resorting to drastic measures to take down her fairy princess rival. We think Britney's going to pull a Tonya Harding and you're going to want to be there to see it.
Bone Thugs N Harmony
Trocadero
1003 Arch Street
Fri, 7 p.m., $22.50
(215) 922-LIVE
www.thetroc.com
All you mid-western "Notorious Thugs" with your cornstalk braids and carharts, give it up for your local rappers -- the Ghetto Cowboys. With the lamest aliases in the business after TLC, Krayzie, Layzie and Bizzy will bone you for mistaking their fourth member for that lovable terrier Wishbone. You may not have heard anything from them since '95, but like Handy Andy says: "Fuck Tha Police."
New York Philharmonic
Verizon Hall at the Kimmel Center
260 S. Broad Street
Fri, 8 p.m., $39-$125
(215) 790-5800
www.kimmelcenter.org
Maestro Lorin Maazel feels it is his job to provide the youth with "emotional depth in place of shallow titillation." Apparently beer, sex and sports don't count as appropriate pleasures for the rational human mind, so Ivy-Leaguers, make John Stuart Mill proud and go for those higher pleasures; I'll stick with titillation. Deep titillation.
Curtis Symphony Orchestra feat. Nitzan Haroz
Verizon Hall at the Kimmel Center
260 S. Broad Street
Sun, 2 p.m., $5-$32
(215) 790-5800
www.kimmelcenter.org
The Curtis Symphony Orchestra features some of the most musically gifted youth on the planet. All students of the Curtis Institute of Music receive full scholarships based solely on musical talent. So if you weren't feeling inadequate about yourself as you pound on the out-of-tune keys in the shady piano rooms in the basement of High Rise North, you better start, because clearly, you suck.
Dawn Upshaw Meets 2001
Lang Concert Hall
Swathmore College
Sun, 3 p.m., $40-$100
www.orchestra2001.org
Dawn Upshaw a.k.a. "the world's reigning superstar soprano" will sing in a loud and unintelligible manner in front of a crowd at Swarthmore. If you thought "Dawn Upshaw meets 2000" was entertaining, you are almost sure to blow a load upon hearing Dawn belt out her newest recital pieces. Throw in some blues and jazz inflected chamber pieces from Alec Wilder and a dime bag of Swarthmore pot and you've got yourself a nice little Sunday.
Temple University Owls Womens Basketball vs. George Washington Women's Basketball
The Liacouras Center
1776 N. Broad Street
Wed, 7 p.m., $5-$7
(215) 204-2400
You may be too broke to see Coach Carter in the theaters, but that doesn't mean you have to miss out on the inspiration that is basketball. Even if you don't like how women play, as a dedicated audience member you have the ability to make this game interesting: stock up on Big Gulps before the game, find the most jacked girl on the court and launch your drink. Then let the fun begin. Better wear a cup.
Wachovia Center Parking: Philadelphia 76ers
Wachovia Spectrum
3601 S. Broad St.
Wed, 7:00 p.m., $12
(215) 336-3600
I have a confession to make. I am a college-aged male, and I don't know a damn thing about basketball. However, I spend hundreds of dollars on season tickets for the Philadelphia 76ers every year. If I can't tell the difference between fouls and free throws, why then do I honor each game with religious-like observance, sitting courtside with rapt attention, fearful that I may miss one glorious second? The answer is simple. Sixers Dancers. I am entranced by each set of gyrating hips, be it Kirstyn, Kiersten or Krystal, and sometimes it's like their bodies are too bootylicious for me. So make it clap ladies, but remember when you shake your ass, watch yourself.
EDEN
Fergie's Pub
1214 Sansom Street
Thu, 6 p.m., Fri-Sat, Mon, Wed, 7 p.m., $10-$15
(215) 413-0975
www.bratproductions.org
With a name as cool as Brat Productions, how could you not want to pull up a chair, grab a pint and return to a time when people walked around naked and didn't have to bitch about menstrual cramps? Yup, that's right. Eden is back -- only this time it's a play about a small town in Ireland where Adam and Eve have been replaced by Breda and Billy. Hey, if you gotta listen to a series of monologues, at least you can get drunk while you're at it!
Slanguage
Painted Bride Art Center
230 Vine Street
Thu, 7 p.m., Fri-Sat, 8 p.m., $10-$20
(215) 925-9914
www.paintedbride.org
This modern tour of the diverse music and linguistics of New York has been described as a "subway ride" through the culture of the city. Based on my memories of the New York subway, I think it will be pretty interesting. Hopefully they can get three of those guys that say they're Jesus to fist fight those weirdoes that keep telling me the end is near.
