John Pompetti
B Square Gallery
614 S. 9th St.
Thu, 1:30 p.m.-7 p.m., Fri-Sat, 12 p.m.-6 p.m., free
(215) 625-0692
I don't know about you, but my favorite art is the kind that's plain and simple, with none of that pseudo-intellectual horseshit. That's why John Pompetti's art rules. With paintings titled "Wow," "Tie" and "Hammer", and lots of pretty colors, how can you go wrong? Come to the B Square Gallery and check out his psychedelic shapes and cutouts. It's better stoned. Groovy, baby.
The Museum in Flames
Slought Foundation
4017 Walnut Street
Fri, 6:30 p.m.-8 p.m., free
(215) 222-9050
http://slought.org
Looking for a good way to pass the time until Spring Break? Burn a museum! OK, we can't actually advocate arson, but contain those pyromaniacal impulses and bring them to the Slought Foundation this weekend to ponder Western culture, money-grubbing America and the destruction of the universe. Sounds like a good time. We heart the Slought Foundation.
Point of Sight: Thomas Eakins' Drawing Manual Reconstructed
Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts
118-128 N. Broad St.
Tue-Sat, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Sun, 11 a.m.-5 p.m., free
(215) 972-7600
http://www.pafa.org/
Are you saving up your chump change to buy one of Leonardo's Renaissance-era notebooks from Bill Gates? Unless you're a Wharton toolbag, you probably will never do it, so Thomas Eakins will just have to suffice. Posthumously published, Eakins' manuscript focuses on the technical aspects of art, including measurements, mechanics, scales, and formulae. And it has pretty pictures!
Flora Boucle's Mandala Musings
University City Arts League
4226 Spruce Street
Mon-Thu, 1 p.m. - 6 p.m., Fri, 1 p.m. - 5 p.m., Sat, 9:30 a.m. - 12 p.m., free
(215) 382-7811
www.ucartsleague.org
This solo exhibit of wall sculptures is made entirely out of objects the artist found on the street or things given to her by friends. I could do that too, but all of my art would be made entirely of old LGBT flyers and half eaten ABP sandwiches.
Celestial Images: Antiquarian Charts and Maps
Payne Gallery
Moravian College
1200 Main Street
Tue-Sun, 11 a.m. - 4 p.m., free
(610) 861-1680
Sick of Mapquest and OnStar? No worries! Moravian College is putting on this sweet exhibit to bring us back to the good old days when the world was flat and sea monsters ate ships for dinner. And hey, you can always pick out the artwork for that study you've always dreamed of doing.
DJ Cosmo
Denin Lounge
1712 Walnut Street
Fri, 11 p.m. - 2 p.m., $10
(215) 735-6700
You used to spend your Tuesday nights downtown at the hip club scene of Red Sky, and now there's another Owl's hotspot to hang out at with all your hip European friends. For a $10 cover, you get entrance to the club, and to hear DJ Cosmo tear it up. She's a London-based globetrotter, but she'll be here for 2 weeks to play for only those who can tear themselves away from the frats for a Friday night downtown. And you don't even need to wait for Isaac Flanagan to Evite you.
3rd Annual Environmental Career Fair
Houston Hall
3417 Spruce Street
Thu, 5 p.m.-7 p.m., free
Attention all activists and greenies: As if you guys weren't irritating enough, Penn is putting on a career fair so that you can all be annoying for a living. Super. I eat meat. I wear fur. I drive an SUV. Fuck you.
River North Chicago Dance Company
Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts
3680 Walnut Street
Thu, 7:30 p.m., Fri, 8 p.m., Sat, 2 & 8 p.m., $32-$44
(215) 898-3900
www.pennpresents.org
It's always been my secret fantasy to quit the football team, put on a slightly more flattering pair of skin tight stretchy-pants and twirl like there's no tomorrow. When this 13-member ensemble troupe comes, maybe they'll let me join in on their joyful prancing and finally allow me to embrace the theatrical fibers of my being. If only tucking weren't so darn uncomfortable.
Soundworks Presents "TAP THAT!"
Annenberg Harold Prince Theater
3680 Walnut Street
Fri, 8 p.m.-10 p.m., $8
http://dolphin.upenn.edu/~stf
There is this adorable indie band that doesn't have a drummer, only a tapper. This is not that band. It is, however, Penn's only (insert superlative here) tap group. This means that no one else on campus was comfortable with putting on shiny shoes and letting their legs flail about as if they were independent of their bodies. Shocking, right? And to think you once thought Michael Flatley was hot.
Fifteenth Annual Madrigal Dinner
Drexel's Great Court
Chestnut and 32nd streets
Fri-Sat, 7:30 p.m., $21.95
(215) 895-6400
Looking for yet another confirmation that Penn is cooler and just generally better than Drexel? Why not check out the Fifteenth Annual Madrigal Dinner where you can feast on an authentic Elizabethan meal. You'll also enjoy the madrigals, chansons, ballads and lute songs of the Drexel Chamber Singers, and the sweet satisfaction of your own condescension.
Israeli Film Festival of Greater Philadelphia
1642 Pine Street
Sat, 8 p.m., free
(215) 545-8478
This Saturday, Walk on Water will be playing at the festival. It's about Nazis and gay people or something, but that isn't really the point. The point is there are Israeli men in this movie. Hot, hot Israeli men. So really, if this movie was about poop-flavored nargile I would still go see it.
Return of the Last Love
The Khyber
56 S. Second St.
Thur, 9 p.m.,
(215) 238-5888
Always wanted to go to Brazil, but scared of muggings, kidnappings and STDs from child transvestite prostitutes? Pussy. Check out The Return of the Last Love hosted by twin Dj's Darshana and Chetana Borah, for the hottest Brazilian and tropicalia beats this side of the Equator.
Alon
Tin Angel at Serrano
20 S. Second St.
Thur, 8:30 p.m., $10
(215) 928-0770
To really appreciate the importance of you going to this CD release party, you need to check out www.alon.tv. The man that talks to you would sway even the most cold hearted of music fans. His voice sounds a little bit like Stone Cold Steve Austin (remember him? Holy shit that was like infinitely long ago). So go and listen to this odd but satisfying music. Because Stone Cold said so!
Guitar Wolf
North Star
2639 Poplar Street
Fri, 7 p.m., $10-$12
(215) 684-0808
Japanese Rock? What more do you need! And if you think "Guitar Wolf" is just a clever name, think again. The other rock stars in this group are "Bass Wolf" and "Drum Wolf". That's right, you better not piss them off because they are in yo' face. So go to it, it might be, um, cultural.
Musical Centers of Northern Italy
St. Mark's Church
1625 Locust Street
Fri-Sat, 8 p.m., Sun, 4 p.m., $15
(215) 235-8469
www.piffaro.com
It's a stressful world we live in these days. Everything is move, move, move, and there is hardly any time to sit down and reflect upon our Northern Italian roots. Nor is there time to listen to all of the beautiful fifteenth and sixteenth century violin music that our ancestors composed, because my iPod is just, like, totally full right now. Black, white, Asian or Blasian, it doesn't matter -- you've got Italian ancestors somehow, and if you miss this concert they're going to be pissed.
Singing City 2005 Winter Concert
First Baptist Church
17 and Sansom streets
Sat, 7 p.m., $10-16?
www.singingcity.org
Singing City Choir is one of Philadelphia's best-known musical ensembles, mostly because they don't just perform with the New York and Israeli Philharmonics, but also at inner-city schools and prisons. Their music unites people. That's more than most of us can say we do. And no, being a West Philly tutor for a week and on a lot of listserves does not fulfill your quota of good deeds for the year. Gosh!
