Pain-Fashion
Slought Foundation
4017 Walnut Street
Thu, 6:30 p.m. - 8 p.m., free
http://slought.org/content/11267/
This discussion will address various forms of expression in the fashion world including anorexia, drugs, alcohol and food. Insert Penn girl joke of some sort here. Michel Rabate and Gregg Lambert will analyze the designs of Alexander McQueen, Christian Dior, David Bowie and others. David Bowie is so fucking cool.
Art and Science XX: Cristin Millett
Esther M. Klein Art Gallery
3701 Market Street
Fri, 9 a.m.- 5 p.m., free
(215) 387-2262
This is for all you Pennginerds and everyone else whose parents didn't think it was even worth it to have "the talk" with them. If you're wondering what the birds and the bees look like, up close and personal, and in three-dimensional sculptures, head on over. Just bring your own Kleenex, and don't ask any questions.
Modern Impressions: Japanese Prints from the berman and corazza collections
Ursinus College, Pfahler Hall
601 Main Street
Collegeville, PA
Sat, 9 a.m.-5 p.m., free
(610) 409-3000
www.ursinus.edu
Scholars will be coming from various universities, including our very own, to discuss Japanese prints. Seriously, Japanese prints are so cool that I might consider heading out to Ursinus College to see some of them. In fact, many of the European Impressionists, including Degas, Monet and Cassat, collected these prints and were even artistically influenced by them. Bet you didn't know that. Well, maybe you did if you took ARTH 285, which may be about half the College by now.
Valerie Wilson Wesley
Penn Bookstore
36th &Walnut streets
Fri, 1 p.m. - 2 p.m., free
(215) 898-6997
www.upenn.edu/bookstore
Wesley will be at the Penn Bookstore discussing and reading from her latest novel, Playing My Mother's Blues. In it, she details how a mother's crime of passion affects the lives of her daughters. Wesley is the winner of many literary awards and is one more reason besides the fact that it accepts Bursar to visit the Bookstore.
Social Service Career Fair
Houston Hall, Bodek Lounge
3417 Spruce Street
Fri, 12 p.m. - 3:30 p.m., free
www.vpul.upenn.edu/careerservices
Students in all of Penn's fine schools, both undergraduate and graduate, are invited to the social service career fair on Friday with more than 25 employers present. Now, who ever thought career services could actually pull that off. After all, are there actual paying jobs in the field of social service? Well, you can only find out by attending and besides, it's time you spent Friday afternoon doing something other than pregaming.
Greil Marcus
Meyerson Hall B1
210 S. 34th St.
Fri, 6 p.m., free
www.icaphila.org/events/speigel.php
Marcus is the keynote speaker of the Spiegel Symposium and will be addressing ideas about political change and the arts. He is the author of Mystery Train: Images of America in Rock'n'Roll Music (1982), as well as other books, including an upcoming one about Bob Dylan. It should be cool, especially since no advanced registration is required.
Hillel Formal
Cibucan
2025 Sansom Street
Sat, 10 p.m., $35
http://dolphin.upenn.edu/~hillel
Someone once told me that someone famous once said that wine is proof that God loves man. Well, I'm not even sure I believe in God, but that's besides the point. I wouldn't miss a chance to watch the future synagogue presidents of the world get smashed and neither should you. Or, if that isn't your forte, at least go so you can get some use out of Dolce & Gabbana prom dress you found on sale two years ago in the back of Marshalls as a freak accident, then tried to pass off as full price. Hey, it could work. This Saturday night, join Jews
Plant Preservation!
Academy of Natural Sciences
1900 Benjamin Franklin Parkway
Sat-Sun, 11 a.m.-3 p.m., $9
(215) 299-1000
http://www.acnatsci.org/
Located near the Philadelphia Museum of Art, the lesser known Academy of Natural Sciences often holds fun-filled seminars, like this Plant Preservation event, where you're promised to learn how to categorize, label and preserve lots of plants. Most of the botanists I know here at Penn reside at 3805 Walnut in the TEP house, and aren't exactly planting flowers, but, hey, we all enjoy the beautiful shrubbery at the Biopond. That means that we all could benefit from a little refresher on how to properly appreciate plants from the coca to the cannabis in our plant journals. Tree-huggers, dendrophiliacs and potheads unite, and learn how to better love your environment.
Social Epistemology of Medical Consensus Conferences
Community College of Philadelphia
1700 Spring Garden Street
Sat, 2 p.m., free
(215) 438-8175
I'm going to throw this out there and see how you all feel about it: doctors are smart guys. I mean sometimes they can be total assholes who stick shit in your body and claim it's good for you, but they're probably not sitting there going "uhhh, should I cut the red one or the blue one?" But just in case, I think we should all go to this little chat where they'll present exactly how they make those tough decisions.
Dave Chappelle
Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa, Atlantic City
1 Borgata Way
Sat, 11:30 p.m., $52-77
(866) my-borgata
www.the borgata.com
With us youngins, trends are consumed, obsessed over, and thrown away within the span of a few months. Remember when Dave Chappelle was the funniest thing since Family Guy? Since then, Garden State and Napoleon Dynamite happened, and Chappelle appreciation has gone the way of pogs and scrunchies -- stuck to a piece of gum under your couch. Well, I've got news for you people: Chappelle is still funny, dammit! So stop forgetting all the hilarious people because you're an asshole and now think some easily annoyed, dorky kid with glasses and a llama is the greatest thing since sliced bread! Gosh!
A Reading with Rich Cucarese
Giovanni's Room
345 S. 12th St.
Sat, 7:30 p.m., free
(215) 923-2960
http://www.giovannisroom.com/
Giovanni's Room is Philadelphia's premier lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender bookstore, located in the heart of our Gayborhood. As a special treat author Cucarese will be reading from Black River, his novel about a raging river, its secrets, its intrigues and its gay people. Must be a sequel to Huck Finn.
Lunch with the Easter Bunny
Glen Foerd Historic Riverside Estate
5001 Grant Avenue
Sat, 11 a.m., $17
(215) 632-5330
Ever see Tim Burton's A Nightmare Before Christmas? Remember that part when they steal the Easter Bunny instead of Santa Claus? That part was great. Where am I going with this, you may ask? Well to be perfectly honest, I'm just not sure. In fact, I simply enjoy talking about that claymation movie because it was a damned fine film. If you don't like it, that's fine, because it will still be printed. So HA.
A Mosaic of Cultures: Artistic Interactions in Medieval Europe, Byzantium and the Islamic World
Villanova University
Sat, 8:30 a.m. - 7 p.m., $5
www.history.villanova.edu/arthistory/mosaicofcultures.htm
The keynote speaker is Renata Holod, but there will be talks from other local professors and grads including Princeton (SUX), Bryn Mawr and our very own, University of Pennsylvania. Registration is required, but do not fear; the event goes on all day and is rather cheap, so feel free to come whenever. For extra fun be sure to dress up in your favorite medieval costumes. I know I will.
Despondent Heaven
Doc Watson's Pub
216 S. 11th St.
Thur, 9 p.m. - 2 a.m., $5
(215) 922-3427
Dust off your JNCOs and strap on some leather or an oversized black t-shirt if you plan on going to Doc Watson's Pub this Thursday night. Despondent Heaven is one of Philly's favorite Goth industrial metal band. Despondent Heaven plays every Thursday night and draws a diverse crowd of Marilyn Manson wannabes. Who wouldn't want to be a pale skinny white dude from Connecticut that banged Rose McGowan?
Rhythm Kings
Warmdaddy's
4 S. Front Street
Thur, 8 p.m., $5
(215) 627-8400
Rhythm Kings sounds like a knock off the world's favorite troupe of traveling minstrels - the Gypsy Kings. Nothing says party hardy like tequila and the
song "bombolayo." Shout out to my man C. Stayton and the Gypsy Kings. The Rhythm Kings aren't bad either.
Ashlee Simpson
Tower Theatre
69th and Ludlow streets
Sat, 7:30 p.m., $35
(610) 352-2887
Give her a break, she's been through a lot. From SNL malfunctions to acid reflux to really unflattering hairstyles she's had some bad moments. And yet you can't seem to tear yourself away from her reality show, can you? Admit it, you devoutly watch as Ashlee celebrates her triumphs and deals with her setbacks, and oh that Ryan Cabrera, sigh. I bet he makes you want to lala on the kitchen floor. Some people get all the breaks.
Moquita with Run Away from the Humans / The Method & Result / Be Careful Little Hands
North Star Bar
2639 Poplar Street
Sat, 9 p.m., $7
(215) 684-0808
OK, all you trance dorks who flock to New York on the weekends to attend all night raves, complete with ecstasy and Rainbow Brite t-shirts -- it's time to come out of hiding. The North Star Bar promises an evening of electronic indiepop, and you don't even need to leave the lovely city of Filthy-delphia to enjoy it! So grab those neon bracelets, your friend who swore they'd attend a rave with you, and have a spankin' good time. And don't forget-drink lots of water.
Derek Fuhrmann
Tin Angel at Serrano
20 S. 2nd Street
Thur, 8:30 p.m., $8
(215) 928-0770
Straight out of the University of Delaware, Derek Fuhrmann is tearing up the college music scene. Since being signed to Wind-up Records, Fuhrmann and crew have been rocking out on the New Jersey and Delaware music scenes with Philadelphia next on the horizon. Live music with a guy named Derek. What more could you ask for?
Solas
World Cafe Live
3025 Walnut Street
Thur, 7:30 p.m., $25
(215) 222-1400
Solas is a world acclaimed music group that melds contemporary rock with a Celtic flare. So if you feel like classing up this St. Patrick's Day, take that Irish exchange student down to the World Cafe and show her your more sensitive side. Maybe with a little lager she'll let you touch her sensitive sides.
Chris Kasper
Tin Angel at Serrano
20 S. 2nd St.
Thur, 8:30 p.m., $8
(215) 928-0770
This is what happens to the guy who smokes pot all day, jams on his guitar all night and is a seventh year senior with no girlfriend or trust fund. If this could be you, come see what you'll look like when you're 40.
Catfish Brown
Khyber
56 S. 2nd St.
Thur, 9 p.m., $7
(215 238-5888
The Khyber Pass is in Afghanistan, and they don't eat catfish there, but they wear brown a lot. So, this combination is not totally random, but you will be if you show up in a turban. If you're drunk before 9 p.m. on Thursday, go for it!
Quaker Notes Spring Show
Dunlop Auditorium
36th and Walnut streets
Fri- Sat, 8 p.m. - 10 p.m.
http://dolphin.upenn.edu/~qnotes
"Quakernotes: my anti-drug" is the title of this all female a cappella group's spring show. Well, I'm not sure that these ladies have enough talent to keep me off drugs, but that is beside the point. They're pretty damn good, and you should go see the show, if for no other reason than to sit back and enjoy watching hot girls sing.
Tom Jones
Resorts Casino
1133 Boardwalk
Fri, 10 p.m., $75
(800) 336-6378
www.resortsac.com
It's not unusual to have a thing for Tom Jones. We all do, we just try not to talk about it. Besides, it's a great excuse to stop wasting away your trust fund on those marathon Poker Stars sessions alone in your room and instead hit up A.C. for some casino action along with a soothing serenade by your fave male diva. And be sure to do your best Carlton imitation.
Fabolous
Trocadero
1003 Arch Street
Sat, 7 p.m., $28.50
(215) 922-LIVE
www.thetroc.com
Despite the blatant spelling error Fabolous is still AbFab! It's his third album so he's a little more mature, a little more experienced, a little more scandalous and, yup, you guessed it, just a little more fabulous.
Traditional Irish Music Session
Plough & The Starts
123 Chestnut Street
Sun, 4 p.m. - 9:30 p.m., free
(215)733-0300
What better way to captivate a perspective love interest than by crooning an Irish tune? We've all experienced the power of beer goggles and Barry White. This time rock the originality card and try whiskey goggles and The Chieftains. Plough & The Stars Irish music session will provide everything you need to know to become a Celtic master.
Jitney
Randall Theater
2020 N. 13th St.
Thu, 7 p.m., Fri, 8 p.m., Sat, 2 p.m. & 8 p.m., Sun-Wed, 8 p.m., $15
http://www.temple.edu/theater/
For all the shit Penn gives Drexel students, why don't the Temple ones get any of the flack? Anyway, that has little -- one might even say nothing -- to do with Jitney. This play takes place in a 1977 gypsy cab station, and was written by August Wilson. To me, this sounds like a whole lot of talk and not much action, which would fit in well with everything else that goes on in my life anyway. Right...
Constant Wife
Walnut Street Theatre
825 Walnut Street
Fri, 8 p.m., $10-$55
(215) 574-3550
The constant wife is the woman who dotes, nurtures and sacrifices for her husband. These are the very saccharine female gender roles the oppressive, hegemonic, patriarchal culture instills in women in our society today -- at least that is what your Women's Studies professors have arduously been trying to ingrain in your brain these past six weeks. See the play and see for yourself what it is all about. The production company politely requests that you shave your armpits first.
Menopause the Musical
Society Hill Playhouse
507 S. 8th St.
Sat, 4 p.m., $45
(215) 923-0210
http://users.erols/com/shop/home.html
It is not surprising that cranky, bloated, old women with hot flashes are the next great inspiration for musical theatre. Nothing says song and dance like losing the ability to bear children. Society Hill Playhouse knows where it's at. Holler to my sistas on menopause.
