Improv Comedy: The N Crowd w/ Holmes/Maughan
Society Hill Playhouse
507 S. Eighth St.
Thu, 8 p.m., $10-15
(215) 923-0210
www.phillyncrowd.com
Quick! Make up a hilarious scene using only questions. Create as many items as you can with one prop. Act like a bullfrog with emphysema. These hilarious games are just some of the kinds that you can see the N Crowd perform. For years, these quick-thinking cats have been lighting up the stage, and this weekend they've got a few friends to help them out: Greg Maughan, a Detroit-based comedian who's studied with the best of the best, and Matt Holmes, a Cabrini College grad who teaches improv at the Philly Improv Theatre. With laughs like these, why wouldn't you go?
The Peter Rowan & Tony Rice Quartet
Sellersville Theater 1894
24 W. Temple Ave.
Thu, 8 p.m., $29.50
(215) 257-5808
www.st94.com
If you are in a quartet, and you decide to name it after only two of the members, you are pretty much asking to break up. So the fact that the Peter Rowan & Tony Rice Quartet has managed to stay together this long without a mutiny by the two anonymous players can only be a testament to how good they are. Which means you should check them out -- oh, and try to get an autograph by one of the unnamed players. It will be worthless, but they'll feel better.
Rosie Thomas
World Cafe Live
3025 Walnut St.
Thu, 9 p.m., $10-12
(215) 222-1400
www.worldcafelive.com
Think that Starbucks and Nirvana are the only good things to come out of Seattle? Well, think again. Singer/songwriter Rosie Thomas writes beautiful songs that will give you chills. Just listen to her delicate voice and raw lyrics and you'll understand. Her 2002 debut album, When We Were Small, labeled her as a "powerhouse vocalist." And this weekend, you can be lucky enough to see her perform at the World Cafe Live. So come and take a listen; it'll be better than sipping on bland caramel macchiatos.
Good Friday Choral Concert: Handel's "Messiah"
Tenth Presbyterian Church
1701 Delancey St.
Fri, 7:30 p.m., free
(215) 735-7688
www.tenth.org
Ah, Handel's "Messiah": the oratorio that tells the story of Jesus himself. This weekend, Handel's masterpiece is being performed at the Tenth Presbyterian Church, where you'll be able to hear the Passion/Resurrection sections of the gorgeous piece. Not into Jesus? Not a problem; the beautiful music played by orchestral players is sure to make even the irreligious swoon.
Jules Shear with Matt Duke and McGowan CD release concert
World Cafe Live
3025 Walnut St.
Fri, 7:30 p.m., $13-20
(215) 222-1400
www.worldcafelive.com
Who can forget such great hits as Cyndi Lauper's "All Through the Night" and the Bangles' "If She Knew What She Wants" Classic, timeless ballads that touched us all. Now you have the chance to hear the man behind the music come out from behind the music to get in front of the music and actually perform his own music. Jules Shear has been writing for other artists for years and is finally debuting his own CD of "music that really matters" -- because there is honestly a gaping void for more meaningful songs like those of Cyndi Lauper. Oh, how I pine for the days of "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun."
The JukeBox
World Cafe Live
3025 Walnut St.
Sat, 9 p.m., $8-10
(215) 222-1400
www.worldcafelive.com
It's called the Jukebox because there's four different artists (it's just like a real jukebox, get it?). This Saturday you can enjoy the musical musings of Boy Wonder, Michelle Cruz, Outset and Arlen McCann. Unfortunately, it's slightly more expensive than dropping a dime, but what jukebox only costs a dime these days anyways? And besides the Waffle House and Blarney, where do they even have jukeboxes anymore? At least World Cafe Life is still keeping the jukebox alive. Fight the man, World Cafe, fight the man.
The New Amsterdams
Theater of Living Arts
334 South St.
Fri, 9 p.m., $11
(215) 922-1011
www.thetla.com
If you were one of those kids in ninth grade that had greasy bangs and talked about your feelings a lot, I hope you've grown up. Being a pussy, I mean, emo, is so high school. But if you must rock out, at least join your brethren at a show where you can all mouth the words together. The Get Up Kids are dead, but singer Matt Pryor is still kicking it with these kids. Watch him flail.
Feed the Hype
Second Stage at the Adrienne
2030 Sansom St.
Thu-Sat, 8 p.m., $10-15
www.flashpointtheatre.org
Paris Hilton is a role model to us all; only a girl like her can be famous for absolutely nothing. And Feed the Hype, the play about a professional hockey player with a wife in the entertainment industry, understands this, making lots of claims about the high price of fame. Need other reasons to see it? Well, the play is making its world premiere here in Philadelphia. But if that's not enough for you, the play also has something in common with a Paris Hilton sex tape: male nudity.
PenNaatak presents: Khoj ‹¨« "A Quest for Answers in Three Plays"
Iron Gate Theatre
37th and Chestnut Sts.
Fri-Sat, 8 p.m., $7 on the walk, $8 at the door
dolphin.upenn.edu/~naatak
Tired of endless productions of Grease or The Glass Menagerie? PenNaatak breaks
this trite trend as it presents unique, South Asian-oriented theatre. Founded only seven years ago, but already a member of PAC, this drama group is the only South Asian theatre troupe at Penn and has a history of successful shows. For all who want to combine entertainment with a cultural experience, this show is a must-see.
Macbeth
The Academy Theatre
146 Rt. 130, Bordentown, NJ
Thu-Sat, 8 p.m., $20-25
(609) 291-9000
www.theacademytheatre.com
In third grade, I saw an episode of Sweet Valley High where the twins were in a production of Macbeth. It was highly educational, and a week later, I impressed my next-door neighbor by quoting the Bard in her kitchen. I still use the same quotes, and people are still impressed. But really, deception, betrayal and murder are best left to the professionals. See this 90-minute reduction and be awed by true Shakespearean actors: the kind who know how to tie their own shoes.
Nineteenth Century American & European paintings
Newman Galleries
1625 Walnut St.
Mon-Fri, 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m., Sat, 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m., free, until April 29
(215) 563-1779
www.newmangalleries1865.com
This past weekend was filled with drunken freshmen rolling around in the Quad, coating themselves in a paste of mud and fried Oreo batter. After a week of soaking that image in your head, there is one thing that might provide some cool relief. Well, the Newman Galleries will be exhibiting a selection of paintings from the 1800s. See landscapes, portraits and still lifes from painters such as Herman Herzog. What better way to be intellectually obscure after a weekend of debauchery?
Pamela Weir-Quiton: FUNctional Wood Sculpture, 1965-2005
Moderne Gallery
111 N. Third St.
Tue-Sat, 11 a.m-6 p.m., free, until May 27
(215) 923-8536
www.modernegallery.com
After a weekend of Flinging your heart out, you probably need to balance the week of sloppiness with something clean to the senses. So why not see FUNctional wood sculpture? Pamela Weir-Quiton has been sculpting wood for years; you may have even seen her work in Saks 5th Ave in L.A. And this weekend, her sculptures of humans and animals make their debut in Philly. What whimsical wood! Oh, the innuendo is too much.
Franklin and da Vinci: The World's Renaissance Men
National Constitution Center
525 Arch St.
Independence Mall
Thu, 6:30 p.m., free
(215) 409-6700
www.constitutioncenter.org
Compare and contrast: Shakespeare's Othello and the movie O; Philadelphia and Madrid; Benjamin Franklin and Leonardo da Vinci. This last duo is the subject of a program at the National Constitution Center. At this reservations-only event, the similarities and differences between these two historic "renaissance men" will be debated for the enlightenment of all.
Las Hermanas
Gallery on High
254 High St., Pottstown, PA
Tue-Fri, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Sat, 10 a.m.-3 p.m., free, until May 5
(610) 326-2506
www.galleryonhigh.com
If every female in my family were an artist, my father probably would have shot himself. Crazy estrogen aside, though, you can bet we'd be one helluva talented bunch. Taking this idea to heart, the Gallery on High, which has vowed to bring culture to the spotlight of Pottstown, is exhibiting works from Ana Guzman, her sister, her mother, her daughter and her niece. That's three generations of fiery painters, and completely worth the schlep out of the Penn bubble.
The Curtis Opera Theatre: Albert Herring
Prince Music Theater
1412 Chestnut St.
Fri-Sat, 8 p.m., $30
(215) 893-5252
www.curtis.edu
Fling is over, and the best cure for the hangover you still have is a big dose of culture. That's where opera comes in -- in fact, that may be the only reason opera still exists. The funny thing about this show, though, is that it's about a guy who everyone thinks is innocent and virtuous, until he gets waaasted and starts telling stories about his drunken adventures. No, I'm serious, it's an opera about Fling. Go, and bring your one-night stand.
Kimmel Center Presents: Cesaria Evora
Perelman Theater
Kimmel Center for the Performing Arts
260 S. Broad St.
Thu, 8 p.m., $34-56
(215) 893-1999
www.kimmelcenter.org
Cesaria Evora has graced theaters and stages around the world -- and always barefoot. The barefoot diva, as she is endearingly known, risks getting splinters each performance to pay tribute to disadvantaged women and children of her country, Cape Verde. Now in her mid-50s, the singer is known as a queen of the morna genre, a soulful melange of Creole-Portuguese sounds, whose lyrics often impart a socio-political charge that detail the struggles of her country's history.
Topper GayBINGO
Gershman Y
401 S. Broad St.
Room 200
Sat, 7 p.m., $15-20
(215) 731-9255
www.aidswalkphilly.com
Let's conjure a particular scene, and you can choose to believe it or not. Women glide past you on roller skates and dog collars, with beehive hairdos that rise to the rafters. Cowboy hats and tiaras are commonplace, and anybody not in skates is in pumps of at least four inches. Little do you know, these "women" aren't women in the strictest sense of the world, but at least for one night of bingo-filled craziness, they are. This nationally recognized event has been going on for 10 years, so stop by their monthly celebration of camp and of course, bingo.
Flyers vs. Rangers
Wachovia Center
3601 S. Broad St.
Sat, 2 p.m., $20-170
(215) 336-3600
www.philadelphiaflyers.com
Sick of springtime already? There is nothing better than three periods of hockey in sub-zero ice rink temperatures to honor the memory of Happy Gilmore and cure spring fever. And, lucky for you, this weekend provides the perfect opportunity for a hockey fix when the Flyers will host the NY Rangers. Though both teams have clenched a playoff berth, be assured that blood will boil on each side of this Eastern Conference rivalry. Rangers' Jaromir Jagr may lead the league in goals and points, but he won't be adding to his stats this weekend if the Flyers have anything to say about it.

