Well, hello. How are you? It's been a while. You are bored, huh. Just finished the sudoku? Well, sort of? Close enough. As far as you are concerned there are two fives counting up to ten. What is that noise? Oh, your professor is still rambling on about- what is it? You do not even know. Sigh, it's Thursday, so there is really no use in doing the crossword. Unless you really think that Djake is the capital of Bangladesh. Unlikely.
So. what to do? You do have the Street in your hand. Oh, it is so nice. Doesn't it feel nice in between your hands? Go ahead. You can stroke it a little. Open it up all the way. Ohh. Look at that. See how it fits so nicely in your hands. You look good with Street there. See all those fine looking people are walking by? Know what they're doing? They are looking at you, with this magazine in your hand. Yes. You are looking fine.
Now, go ahead. Stretch out a little. Get comfortable. Put your feet up. Put them on your desk. On the table. On the floor. On your neighbor. On the professor. No, take them off of him. That was a bad idea. Well, don't just stand there. Sit back down. Act cool. Pretend like you are taking notes. Okay. Good.
Now go situate yourself somewhere nice. There is a lot for you to read here in Street and once you get started, you are not going to want to stop. Are you comfortable? Maybe get a snack, some sushi or something. You want to watch your figure. You know, spring break is just around the corner.
So here you are, Street in hand. You are not expecting much. You have read it before. There will be some reviews. Music stuff, film, probably a joke or two about Gutmann, or turkeys having sex. That is weird.
But wait! "What is this?" you exclaim out loud. Be quiet, people are staring.
Street has changed. Just breathe, calm yourself. It is exciting. Street is totally different this semester. It is like we are writing just to you. About Madden. Shoot, you play Madden. There is even a society column. Dang, and you are in it. Actually, you aren't in it. We don't use any names, so you can't sue us. Don't even try.
Still. With all this extra attention, you must be Mr(s). Thang. It's okay. Go ahead, brush that dirt off your shoulder, Thang. Go on, do not be shy. What else you say? Yep, a review of new The Shins. You love The Shins.
You are ready now to embark on a great journey called Street. It is not just a thing on the ground anymore. No. It is what is happening on Thursday, and you know what else? Street likes you a lot. Street can see up your nose right now, but Street does not judge.
So try out Street. You are ready, and Street is ready for you. Street: 20 pages of sweetness, and you know what? Street wants you inside of it. So bad.
