Dear Guides,
My roommate always brings girls home at night when I am trying to sleep. The problem is that he doesn't seem to notice that I'm awake, and keeps at it without giving me a chance to escape. Free, live porn on the weekends is great, but not when I have a test the next day. Help!
- (Doesn't) like to watch
Dear Doesn't Like to Watch,
First, kudos to you for getting a roommate who probably doesn't smell. You really are a lot luckier than you think! However, I do understand that your porn watching schedule doesn't mesh exactly with your roommate's active sex life. There are a few ways to approach this. The first is of the aggressive variety. This would entail jumping out of bed, grabbing all your bedding, and loudly huffing and puffing your way out of the room the moment he arrives home with a random drunk girl. This will show him that you have noticed that he is an inconsiderate player, but probably won't win you much sleep if you don't have anywhere else to go. The other option is to take a clue from Boy Meets World (the college years), and institute a signaling method. Corey and Shaun used a rubber band. Talk to your roommate one day when he hasn't had his brains screwed out the night before and create your own "room is occupied" signal. If this doesn't help, find a girlfriend of your own and stop sleeping in your room. That way, everybody wins. (For a more "aggressive" approach to this situation, check out one girl's experience in Low Brow this week.)
Sincerely yours,
Guides
