You’re overwhelmed with gum options. All you oral-fixation freaks out there who have a bubbly kind of pack-a-day habit want to make sure you’re making good choices on the chewing gum front (since, chances are, you’re making bad decisions elsewhere). We put our mouths to work this week and did our best gum recon: the lip-smacking superlatives are in.
Trident Passionberry Twist
Everything about Trident Passionberry Twist clashes with your expectations of a chewing gum. Its electric yellow hue almost necessitates sunglasses, and the initial taste makes stale breath seem like a positive alternative. After a few chews, the flavor does start to improve — you just have to be patient enough to make it that far.
The Gum Least Like Gum
Wrigley’s Doublemint
Wrigley’s Doublemint is a classic, so it’s hard not to approach the claims of improved flavor with a dose of skepticism (new Coke, anyone?). Luckily, Doublemint provides the same long-lasting burst of mint to get you through the longest Econ lecture. Just don’t try to blow a bubble; the gum has a soft consistency that will leave you disappointed.
The Oldie But Goodie
Orbit Spearmint
Orbit Spearmint, like the taste of her cherry chapstick, will leave your mouth craving more. Despite the small pieces, the flavor is perfectly concentrated to give you the “just brushed clean feeling” promised by the package. Because they’re so small, two or three pieces are needed to get a decent bubble — but can your mouth handle it?
The Spunkiest
“5” Elixir (Mouthwatering Berry)
This gum has such a sweet scent and taste that it is hard to believe it is sugar free. This gum gets points for long lasting flavor and a consistency that’s just right after a little chewing. Perfect for the girl looking for a low-cal sugar fix or the boy looking to sweeten up before “Seven Minutes in Heaven” (everyone still plays that game, right?).
The Pre-Smooch Gum of Choice
Hubba Bubba Bubble Tape
This gum is dry and chalky at first bite and only goes downhill from there. The upside is that once empty, the neon pink circular casing can double as a travel vessel for anything from your precious jewels to your illegal narcotics. Word to the wise, this versatility does NOT extend to using this gum as actual measuring tape.
The Best Dressed
Dentyne Ice (Mint Medley)
Sweet yet minty fresh, this gum is a taste from heaven (also known as Wawa). Its consistency is smooth and soft, and the gum maintains its refreshingly icy flavor until last bite.
The Mastication Sensation
Stride (Winterblue)
Stride is like that random engineering student who asked you out to dinner and then talked your ear off about his blue ribbon 6th grade science project: safe, but boring. Yes, the gum is minty and yes, the flavor is long lasting, but nothing about this gum makes you want to jump out of your seat and squeal in delight.
The Gum to Bring Home to Mom and Dad
