The season of slutty iterations of otherwise banal costume ideas is upon us! Hello slutty asparagus! Good morrow slutty Ninja Turtle! Though shameful crimes against self–respect they may be, we here at Highbrow still want to commend the slutties; at least they’re being more creative than fraternal collectives campus–wide. In a blatant display of dishwater dullery, Oktoberfest–named parties were everywhere this past weekend: from the bland OZtoberfest and St. A’s Rocktoberfest to the nonsensical Piketoberfest. Come now boys, ending things in ‘toberfest’ does not make girls like you.
Before we completely slander the Greek system for its unimagination, let’s not forget about the recent creative streak over at Theta. Rather than adhering to their national’s philanthropy of choice, Theta pooled their imaginations and realized they cared more about hosting a glorified mixer with Beta than helping underpriviledged children. The rhyming organizations (clever!) thus present Kick for the Cure: Morons Who Can’t Play Soccer But Like To Prance Around In Skimpy Gear And Scream Like Verne Troyer.
Speaking of creative juices, Kappa Sig stayed true to their roots at their annual Fall Fest party when an alcohol monitor got peed on as the party was being broken up. Here’s for alcohol policy reform!
In what can only be described as a heinous showdown of belligerent machismo, a senior Owl was chased around campus by an angry junior who shall not be named, but who’s license plate is a variant of “added coinage.” The former was shouting Hail Marys, while the latter hurled expletives. Delightful!
And Tabard had a dead squirrel shoved through it’s mailbox. Aparently, the squirrel was executed by BB gun fire earlier by evil frat boys, who thought it appropriate to canvas Pine Street with vermin.
