Although Alex Toumayan, Mask & Wig’s head writer, claims he isn’t very funny, Street finds him amusing enough to make him this week’s Ego. Whether he’s sitting in a dark room with his cast members or lucid–dreaming about hornets, Alex always seems to have a unique take on things, and never seems to care who he offends…Amy Gutmann least of all.

[media-credit name=" " align="alignright" width="210"][/media-credit]Street: Choose one — the mask or the wig. Alex Toumayan: What is a mask made out of hair considered?

Street: What’s the worst joke you’ve ever written? AT: We wrote a bit called Ob–gyn–kenobi. Street: Speaking of which, are you as funny as you think you are? AT: I don’t think I’m very funny… so… probably?

Street: If you could cross dress as any woman, real who would it be? AT: You say cross dress as a woman, so do you mean dress like a woman? Or cross dress as a woman? Because I’ve done both, and prefer the latter, in which case I would choose Queen Latifah dressed as Wiz Khalifa. Street: During the spring, Mask & Wig goes on tour together. Any funny stories? AT: In one of my hotel rooms I overheard a girl next door yelling at her friend that they had run out of toilet paper, and then requested that the girl bring her their loaf of bread to supplement. Girls are gross.

Street: Some of your skits could be considered pretty offensive. Is there any topic that’s off limits? AT: I think most of the people that would consider them “offensive” have stopped coming to our shows. I’m looking at you Gutmann. But to be safe, we usually brainstorm in the dark so that no one can be blamed for the offensive ideas.

Street: Describe your spring show in six words or fewer. AT: Bulbs. Bulbous. Balloons. Marooned. Fondue… Epic. Street: My PennCard photo looks like I’m… AT: Two dimensional. But I’m only one–dimensional, so it’s not a very good picture.

Street: What’s something people would be surprised to know about you? AT: I think people would be really surprised to know that I was a fish. But so far that hasn’t happened.

Street: What’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had? AT: I had a lucid dream where I chose to fill the room I was in with hornet nests. I don’t know why I did that. That was pretty weird. Street: If you were a Penn professor, what class would you teach? AT: Howtoperforminmusicalsforfouryearswithoutbeingabletosing… 101.

Street: There are two types of people at Penn… AT: There are definitely people at Penn. Two types?  Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.