10:45 p.m.: Arrive in Montreal and go to an organized club event (this sounds terrible).
10:47 p.m.: Wait. This is a teen club. Why are there high schoolers on poles?5:45 a.m.: Wake up hungover to board the bus to go to the mountain. Sit next to a state school boy who won’t STFU because he’s a walking YouTube video: “That’s SMART.” “I’m getting DRUNK off Pancakes.”
6:00 a.m.: Pass out with my head on the window. Need. Coffee. Now.
1:30 p.m.: Grab some gourmet cafeteria food on the top of mountain. Frat boys ice each other. Cool.
1:45 p.m.: Finally hit the slopes. Watch people face plant and eat snow. Those who can’t ski (really?) go dog sledding.
4:30 p.m.: Apres ski. Two options: pitchers of beer and stuffing your face with mass amounts of Canadian delicacy, poutine (fries drenched in cheese and gravy… nom nom blarf) OR do what all soccer moms do and spend lots of dollar billz at Roots.
4:32 p.m.: Do the former.
4:45 p.m.: Drunk on gravy.
10 p.m.: Two nights in and the OZ contingent still has yet to make eye contact with anybody who does not frequent Thursday nights at Fiso.
12 a.m.: Make out with Campus Vacations' photographer.
12:05 a.m.: Listen to friend who tells me she’s already created a new business structure for Campus Vacations.
1:45 a.m.: Realize all our coats are locked in a coat check. Obnoxious OZ boy screams, “I NEED MY HUGO BOSS JACKET!!”
2:00 a.m.: Leave without coat or CV photographer. Hope OZ boy never gets his “HUGO BOSS!!!!!” coat back.
8:00 a.m.: Wake up to knock on the door from Phi Delt boys. They want beer with their cereal. Sweet.
2 p.m.–3 a.m.: 13–hour bus ride from hell back to Philly. Canada, it’s been fun.
