Welcome, welcome, lovies, to the 74th Annual Hunger Games! We kid, we kid, although sometimes a fight to the death might be preferable to being featured in the Round-Up. For our returning readers, we love you all so dearly; and for our new ones, expect a semester of scandalous gossip and lascivious stories.

Just when you thought it was too embarrassing to recurr, the Soiree Urinator struck again at the annual Theos rush event. This time, the unabashed senior chose the cozy space between two parked cars as her Porcelain Throne instead of the plush armchair of yesteryear. We guess it beats waiting in line for the bathroom.

One psychology class might have gotten a little more interesting after a professor offered up a fun, new way to respond to questions in class. Allowing students to text in answers might seem wise in theory, but it soon became apparent that the real purpose was to expose the folks with Oedipal complexes. Apparently, the students felt the need to text in "dirty" responses to the questions, which then showed up on screen. My name is Sigmund, Mr. Freud if you're nasty.

Sig Chi and TEP had rush date parties at Cuba Libre this week, but unfortunately none of their frosh were able to get in to the establishment. Some rush party. Maybe Cuba Libre isn't as libre as we once thought.

We'll try to go easy on you this semester, girls, but there was no way we could start off spring semester without a good Tabard story. After a disappointing pledge season last year, Tabard was again dealt a dismal hand with even more girls turning them down. Despite issues of national security, one high profile member was admitted, although another was let go for what we might call national insecurity. Rest assured, it wasn't for political reasons: we're pretty sure their daddies voted for different people.


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