Not Pictured: Dillon McHugh, Sean Kelly, Connor Cuff

Street: Describe yourself in three words.

Patrick Shin: Pottruck Court 1.

Zach Levine: Not in APES.

Elliot Comite: Always bursaring Frontera.

Cole McCourt: I am great—I am Groot!

Street: How would you describe your chest hair, in one word?

CM: Batman.

EC: Loving.

Luke Roskowinski: Cuddly.

Mike Markovitz: Post-Pubescent.

PS: Non-existent.

Yusef Houamed: On-it’s-way.

Street: What makes you a true BMOC?

ZL: Definitely not height.

EC: I subscribe to the whole “fake it till you make it” thing.

YH: I knew the right people.

CM: I forgot the question.

MM: People know me.

Street: Who’s your biggest competition?

ZL: Yusef, easily.

EC: Definitely not Levine.

MM: Me, myself and I. I’m my own worst enemy.

CM: Ben Poretzky. He’s my back up dancer.

YH: Alcohol is probably my biggest competition. Staying on my two feet.

CM: My biggest competition is the bouncers, I’m hoping I’ll make it inside.

Street: How are you training for BMOC?

PS: Fat loss pills.

MM: Hydroxycut.

YH: Juice cleanse.

CM: Phalloplasty.

ZL: I started running Iron Mans.

CM: Calf implants.

LR: Gluten free diet.

EC: I’ve actually become Paleo for the last month.

LR: I’m mentally preparing myself with hours of meditation a day.

YH: It’s more of a spiritual competition than anything else.

Street: How would you define manhood in one word?

ZL: Me.

MM: Burgundy.

CM: Ron.

YH: Flash tats.

EC: OTPHJs. (Ed. note: Giving or getting?) 

LR: Backscratches.

CM: Spooning.

Street: There are two types of people at Penn...

YH: People who lived in Hill and people who didn’t.

MM: People I’ve gotten with and people I haven’t.

PS: Huntsman and Van Pelt.

CM: Those who go to Lyn’s and those who go to Magic Carpet.

ZL: People who don’t like Bankers and people who really don’t like Bankers.

LR: Under or over 21.

Street: What’s your spirit animal?

LR: Panda.

EM: Koala.

MM: Liger.

CM: Flying squirrel.

YH: Samuel L Jackson.

Street: What’s your favorite app?

CM: Grindr.

MM: Jswipe.

LR: Evernote, super fucking useful.

YH: Not Yik Yak, not Yo...

CM: Google Maps. Not Apple Maps. Shit’s not right.

EC: Definitely Go Puff.

LR: Go Puff sucks.

EC: Go Puff is the tits.

LR: They always deliver the wrong shit.There is definitely a great convenience to it but it is not doing it to the standard that I expect.

ZL: The fact that no one’s said Snapchat is astounding.

Street: What’s your biggest pet peeve?

CM: People who take the elevator to second floor.

MM: Having to open my backpack every time I leave Van Pelt.

LR: Groups of people who walk in a straight line when you’re trying to get through.

CM: People who run on Locust. We know you just want people to see that you’re running.

ZL: Yeah! Joggers down locust..Just jog on Walnut or Spruce, it’s easy.

PS: That I can’t ride my bike down Locust.

YH: You’re not riding fast enough!

EC: When they turn on the lights at 2 am at Smokes.

Street: What was your childhood nickname?

MM: Ducatti.

CM: Special.

EC: Elliot Vomite. I’m not ashamed of that at all.

YH: Yusey Goosey.

LR: Roscoe pretty much my entire life.

YH: My dad called me “Lazy good for nothing.”

ZL: My mom calls me Zachary when she’s mad at me, does that count? Zachary Simon.

CM: Butthole Cole.

LR: My brothers used to call me “Little fuck.”

Street: If you are what you drink, what are you?

LR: Red Headed Slut.

EC: Anything but Bankers Club.

CM: Irish coffee.

YH: Sake bombs.

MM: Manischewitz.

ZL: Water with a little pinch of lemon.

LR: Ooh, tangy.

Street: Give us one reason people should see BMOC.

CM: Me.

LR: I will have my shirt off.

MM: The men in front of you shirtless.

LR: Booty shaking.

ZL: A wonderful evening out with your significant other.

EC: Cole may or may not be able to stand upright on stage.

CM: Cole may or may not perform. The anxiety is killing me.

Street: Who will you thank in your acceptance speech?

MM: My girl Beyoncé.

YH: Michelle Obama.

LR: Buddah.

CM: Matthew McConaughey.

EC: My beautiful mother, shoutout to you.

ZL: My competition.

CM: The late Ms. Rivers. she’s an inspiration to all of us horrible fucking people out there.

The men of BMOC attempt the AXO hand signal.


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