“Nick Jonas”—Nick Jonas
After, like, ten years,
Nick Jonas hit puberty.
He's horny now... weird.
Grade: D
Best when: Reading your erotic JoBros fan fiction to a bemused audience at an Elmo's speakeasy
Download: "Jealous"
“IX”—…And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of The Dead
I liked these guys when
I was in high school; that said,
This is pretty 'meh.'
Grade: C
Best when: Passive–aggressively trying to annoy Whartonites by playing your music too loudly in the Huntsman forum
Download: "The Doomsday Book"
“The Other I”—2:54
Aggressively pop,
Washed–out, moody; makes one think
Of the color grey.
Grade: B-
Best when: Strolling down Locust late at night in the winter
Download: "The Monaco"
