As Kesha once said: maybe I need some rehab, maybe I need some Street—or something along those lines. We suggest beginning your pregames by brushing your teeth with a bottle of Jack. But Highbrow will be on the prowl, so watch your back.

The chips may be down but please, pull your pants up. We hear that one unlucky lady decided to use the St. A’s house as her personal toilet this past weekend. After hitting the tables and downing a few too many drinks (shaken not stirred), our intoxicated friend decided to drop her pants and pee on the front lawn of the house—in full view of a number of frat guys walking by. We know the house always wins, but once in a blue moon, the player takes it all.Too bad it was a full moon.

Claws out—get ready for a catfight. At a party this past weekend, one sophomore hooked up with a guy who had recently broken up with his girlfriend. Unfortunately, his jealous ex got wind of the news and decided to take action. The ex confronted the sophomore girl and began to get aggressive, as the sophomore’s roommate entered the scene and tried to calm the ex down. The angry ex began to push the roommate and shout racial slurs at her. The roommate could not take her shit and punched her square in the face. Drunken slurs are okay, but racial slurs definitely aren’t. Next time, maybe just take a Xanax.

Go shawty, it’s sherbet day. It seems as though two freshmen might have overindulged this past weekend at a dessert–themed mixer. At the party, attendees doused each other in chocolate syrup and whipped cream and made quite a mess. In the midst of their sugar high, two intoxicated boys lost their balance on the slippery floor which unfortunately landed them both in the hospital. One walked away with a few stitches while the other suffered from a concussion. Who knew that a trip to the Candy Shop would be so expensive!

Double the capacity, double the fun. Looks like the Roxxy is going to be packed tonight. An overly confident group of frats, going by Wise, St. Ray's and Underground on Facebook, sold tickets that allowed entry for two Fling parties—a downtown and a pool party on Saturday—before finding a space for night. The hot tickets sold out quickly, and the hosts had to take action. In a pinch, the frats booked the Roxxy for the same night, at the same time as a bash hosted by Sigma Psi Zeta, one of Penn’s Asian–interest sororities. 2 parties, 1 venue—you do the math. Each event claims to have sold out of tickets, so expect a shit show at the Roxxy entrance. Looks like this downtown may just turn into Chinatown.

The Round Up is a gossip column and the stories are gathered through tips and word of mouth. Although we verify all the information in the Round Up with multiple sources, the column should be regarded as campus buzz and not as fact.


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