We hope you celebrated Labor Day by putting your liver to work. Highbrow is sad to say that summer has come to an end, but have no fear baby Quakers, things are just starting to heat up in the Round Up.
Do you ever wish last night’s memories were just hallucinations? One group of uh, progressive, students went to Medusa Lounge on Saturday to hear a fellow Quaker’s DJ set. As he dropped beats, the group dropped acid. After they closed their tabs, one girl really tripped up leaving the venue. She must have craved the (LS)D because the girl kissed a homeless man she found outside. Medusa is never basic, especially when you bring acid into the equation.
Beer before liquor makes you sicker—or angrier? Debauchery continued at Made in America this weekend. One drunk girl was really craving a Lime–A–Rita and asked a fellow concert attendee to buy one for her. After the guy refused to purchase her a beverage, the girl took off her shoes and threw them at him. Rather than retrieving her shoes, this diva left the concert and walked back to campus alone and barefoot. She might have started freshman year on the wrong foot, but every guy should know not to cross a thirsty girl.
Word to the wise: no matter how thirsty you are, make sure you think before you drink. At an off campus fraternity party, Highbrow hears that one freshman rush drank a little too much for his bladder to handle. The boy was so desperate to relieve himself that he pee–ked into a brother’s room and peed in a cup. Naturally, the brother got a little pissy when he found the freshman, and punched him in the face. The cup, however, was not disposed of. So later, a girl unknowingly drank the cup of piss. Tinkle tinkle little star, never drink outside of a bar.
Beyoncé famously sang “driver roll up the partition, please” at Made in America, but Penn students did not feel the same way about creating such divisions. Campus Apartments, a provider of off–campus student housing, put up a fence between the Beta and lax house backyards, thinking they were doing the houses a favor. In the heat of the testosterone, the bros quickly tore the fence down a few hours later. It’s fun to play in the backyard—especially with sticks and balls.
The Round Up is a gossip column and the stories are gathered though tips and word of mouth. Although we verify all the information in the Round Up with multiple sources, the column should be regarded as campus buzz and not as fact.