Highbrow applauds the efforts of the Ivy League Snapstory...but let’s be real, it only gets ten seconds of footage while we get the whole story. Pay attention.

To pee or not to pee, that is the question. At a ZBT party, one girl had to attend to her tinkle spout and stepped into the nearest bathroom. Upon entering, a frat bro kindly informed her it was the gentleman’s room—le duh, she responded, we’re in a fucking frat house. As she stepped into a stall, the girl slipped on the wet floor and slammed her head and eye. Her black eye will make for such a chic, realistic boxer costume.

Are we experiencing an international crisis? It looks like there’s been a failure of di-bro-macy. Two frats, one on-campus and the other off-campus, hosted parties the same night. In competition for rushes, they called the police on each other. Both parties were shut down, but shit got real on Pine Street. Police attempted to enter the house party, but the brothers resisted their entrance. Party goers rushed upstairs to hide from big bad cops, and the situation only worsened. The police finally entered the house, searched upstairs, banged on closed doors and demanded attendees to leave. We hear someone was even chased onto the roof, and a couple people left with party favors (read: citations). What goes around, comes around—karma’s only a bitch if you are.

Is it Hanukkah already? A group of lucky students received a lovely surprise from a generous Jewish Santa Claus, aka a wealthy alum. Students involved with a Jewish organization were feasting on Chinese food when their rabbi surprised them all with iPad minis. The iPads even included an app of the Talmud, a central text of Rabbinic Judaism. Welcome to the 21st Century: the iTorah is so hot right now.

You know what’s also hot right now? The fire that started in Castle this past weekend. As we all know: when things get hot, they sometimes get wet. The sprinklers went off and extinguished the fire. There’s an investigation underway and apparently students are being questioned. If we hear any updates, we’ll send you a smoke signal.


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