1. Penn vs. Princeton. Actually, we never even cared.
  2. People abroad. Your Berlin Wall photos are trite, over–saturated, and not candid.
  3. Passive aggressive GroupMe’s with housemates and subletters. JUST CLEAN UP YOUR FUCKING SHIT, AMANDA.
  4. Unemployment. We’ll just strip when we're not making any money. Whatever, we know your parents are still helping you pay for that Soho apartment. (Ed. note: Same, hopefully)
  5. Being gluten-free. Trust us, we’ve tried it. It sucks, it’s unfulfilling, over-hyped, you sound obnoxious, and are in eternal denial of loving a greasy cheeseburger from ShakeShack.
  6. Honeygrow opening. We’ve been blue-balled for so long that we don’t even give a shit. #teamsweetgreen
  7. Fall weather. Everyday feels like a monsoon in an armpit—moist, smelly and a little too warm.
  8. TAs who randomly call on people. No one is doing all the reading at this point. Let’s be real, everyone responds, “I found it interesting…”
  9. Gym socializing. If you can hold a 45-minute conversation on the elliptical with your BFF right by your side, neither of you are actually working out. You’re just annoying everyone around you. Move your legs, not your mouths.
  10. Squirrels? Lol → Rodents should never be self-righteous and comfortable around humans. That is not how the animal kingdom functions. If you think you’re getting a bite of my Magic Carpet cookie, think again little squirrel bitch.


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