What we threw and how they rank:
-
Mac and cheese: even better with additional bacon bits
- Result: a waste of a good meal
- Stickability: 1
-
Bologna: what a satisfying slap
- Result: womp womp
- Stickability: 2
-
Eggs: there simply can't be anything more satisfying
- Result: this was extremely cathartic
- Stickability: 3
-
Sriracha: the bottle is obviously designed for squirting at walls. This may or may not look like blood...
- Result: it looks like someone was murdered in the Quad trash room
- Stickability: 4
-
Mayonnaise: “is mayonnaise an instrument?”, “no, Patrick, mayonnaise is for throwing at walls”
- Result: possibly the most unidentifiable item we threw
- Stickability: 5
-
Peanut butter: a bitch to clean up, so tell your friends with allergies not to touch the wall afterward
- Result: we strongly suspect that this could be used as glue
- Stickability: 6
-
Nutella: full disclosure, this kind of looks like someone threw a shit at the wall.
- Result: more concerning than the peanut butter
- Stickability: 7
Things for you to try
- Sushi: best use of Mark’s Cafe rolls
- Gushers: is there actually liquid inside or is it just a dream? There's only one way to find out.
- Guacamole: “guacamole is extra”, “yes I know”, “okay here you go”, *throws it at a wall*
- Buttered toast: 10 points for Gryffindor if it lands butter side on the wall.
- Hamburger meat: we prefer it raw. In general.
- Tzatziki: we're just interested in what people will think it is after it's on the wall.
- Chocolate milkshake: brings all the boys to the yard and then once they’re there throw that jawn as hard as you can
- Honest Tom's breakfast burrito: kidding––why would you ever waste that?!
- Meatballs: one for you, one for the wall. That's how this one goes.
- Wedge of brie: but only the smallest wedge because it's approximately 100$ per ounce
- Cinnamon roll: hot and with lots of icing for maximum stick-age
- Allegros BBQ chicken pizza: (you might have already done this)
- Jelly filled donut: because you know Hillel’s gonna have extra this Hannukah
- Sweetgreen salad: because who doesn't want to see betchy girls cry
