Your significant other tells you his/her favorite song is Satisfaction by the Rolling Stones, how do you react? 

1. Never talk to him/her again 

2. Let him/her know that everyone’s different and it’s okay 

3. Paint the city red with his/ her blood 

4. Tell him/her that’s a silly choice

You finish all of your homework for the day and have a few hours of free time. How do you spend it? 

1. Treat yourself to some bourbon and smooth jazz 

2. Go to your local supermarket and take advantage of the buy one, get one free papaya deal 

3. Finally get rid of that pesky toe fungus 

4. Catch up with the neighborhood crackhead

You see an old lady struggling to cross the street, but are in a rush to get to class. What do you do? 

1. Push her into the street while chanting, “Natural selection must run its course.” 

2. Jump on her back and demand a piggyback ride 

3. Help her across the street, get her number in the process, marry into her family’s fortune and drop out of college 

4. Say you would help if you could but you have a phobia of the elderly

What’s your ideal romantic date?

1. Homemade meal followed by a walk under the starlit night sky 

2. Sexy skinny dipping in your favorite toilet 

3. Midnight syrup tasting at grandma’s house 

4. Romance is dead

Which of these sounds like the best April Fool’s prank to you? 

1. Switch your roommate’s Froot Loops™ with Raisin Bran™ 

2. Turn off all the carbon monoxide detectors in your house 

3. Berate your sister for her choices 

4. Survive an assassination attempt

Which is your favorite dog breed? 

1. Golden Retriever 

2. Cockapoo 

3. Pug 

4. The one that looks like your uncle Larry

Finish this lyric: Imagine… 

1. All the people 

2. If Steve Irwin were still alive 

3. Unlimited breadsticks 

4. No possessions

Which of these first–graders is most likely to become a famous musician? 

1. Garrett Hopkins 

2. Jimmy Watson 

3. Gerald Williams 

4. Ricky Clark

Which member of the Beatles are you most like? 

1. Ringo 

2. George 

3. The dead ones 

4. Dung beetle

Now, tally up your score! Each 1 is 1 point, each 2 is 2 points, and so on. 

9-15: Paul McCartney 

16-22: Ringo Starr 

23-29: George Harrison 

30-36: John Lennon


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