Keep your Fling catchphrase handy for use at any time

Here are a few that have worked in the past: “Ping Pong? More like fling flong,” “Give me some immodium, because I have a terrible case of flingarrhea,” and “My parents don’t love me but at least fling does!”

Show off your church group’s customized fling thongs

Tank–tops are for casuals.

Put heroin in the jungle juice

It’s fling! Be a little adventurous for once!

Have your friends visit and lock them in the library

Why should friends get in the way of your special weekend? Be responsible by making sure they can do their homework.

Make your snapstory at least 150 seconds

Here’s some quick math: # of seconds in your snapstory*20/(100 - # of people who viewed your snapstory)= Amount of fun you had in kilometers

Ingest the molly before the acid, but not after the cocaine

Don’t mess this one up! A rookie mistake could kill you here. Not sure if this is the right order though so take this advice with a grain of salt.

Tell everyone how much you loved every performer way before they were popular

They need to know and it’s your duty to tell them.


All comments eligible for publication in Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. publications.