Do you ever feel like having sex on a comfortable surface is just like, so meh? Do you want an app with graphics straight outta iOS 3 to help you spice things up? Look no further than 69 Places!
HOW IT WORKS
69 Places is basically a list of places to have sex. You can check off places you’ve already done the dirty, star your favorites and hit the random button for some inspiration. The locations are broken down into categories: home, outdoors, public places, sporting venues, transportation and obscure. All 69 Places come with a mini description, half of which make you think, “Yeah, I could do it on a piano bench,” and the other half, “Did they just tell me to have sex in a toy store?” With Fling happening, like, now, however, these suggestions could actually come in handy. When you’re browned–out making passionate eye contact with your freshman hall–mate from across the darty (even though you’ll say you blacked it out later), you can find a better place to go back to than your double in the Quad or shitty off–campus house. Here are a few of the random suggestions I was given, and how they could translate to your Fling flings.
Under a Bridge: Rando cars and the Schmear It guy may see you, but you could definitely make a subtle doggy–style work under the 38th Street Bridge.
Soccer Goal: If you’re looking to ~score~ take a romantic walk down Spruce Street and make your way over to Penn Park.
Library: Those single stall bathrooms on the third, fourth and fifth floors of VP aren’t just good for pooping!
Pool/Hot Tub: Pool party tickets have been selling of upwards of $100. If you’re gonna pay that much money to do exactly what you could do in your backyard, you’d better be able to sneak in a quickie in the germ–infested pool.
Walk–in Freezer: Sex in restaurant bathrooms is so overrated. After you’ve SABSed long enough outside Copa, find your honey and head to the freezer. Caveat—if you’ve ever seen True Blood you’ll know to check for dead bodies first.
Concert: Fuck 3lau, fuck Chance.
Rooftop: Honestly the most romantic option so far. Bring a blanket, some speakers, and enjoy looking out over beautiful West Philly. Alternatively, the entire post–darty roof community may see you, but that’s just a risk you’ll have to take.
Tent: Have you ever had sex by the Quad carnival performers? It’s fucking in–tents!