It’s hard to be self–aware. It’s harder to realize that you’re not a human and actually a pile of fallen leaves.

1. Did you fall from a tree?

2. Do you look put together but the slightest disturbance would completely destroy you?

3. Are you laying on top of vomit?

4. Have you ever been called an “eyesore,” “gross” or “ile of fallen leaves”??

5. Is your favorite song Blowin’ in the Wind?

6. Are you capable of feeling emotions?

7. Do you know what year it is?

8. Do you feel crippling loneliness because all of your best friends live in a tree above you?

9. On a Thursday night are you a) laying in a pile on the street, b) laying in a pile on the street or c) laying in a pile on the street?

10. Do you get aroused when you hear a leaf blower?

11. Do you ever start to think about your ephemerality then remember you’re a pile of leaves and don’t have thoughts or language?

If you were able to answer any of these questions, then you’re probably not a pile of fallen leaves. Better luck next time.


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