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Everything's been looking up since I turned my iPhone in for a wand. Before, I lived a life of Muggle–ish mediocrity. Now, I cast spells and concoct potions as the badass wizard I was always meant to be. Are you, too, considering turning your iPhone in for a wand? These are just some of the many ways having a wand can enhance your life at Penn.
- Hex your physics professor so you never have to take another L.
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Summon a dragon during SEPTA strikes.
Create so many explosions.
Cast an invisibility cloak.
Disarm your enemies (e.g. OCR, harsh graders, the wind tunnel).
Conjure up flocks of birds when you're bored in class.
Stick your writing sem "colleague's" tongue to the roof of his mouth so he is forced to stop talking.
Never unlock doors, clean things and pack suitcases again.
Turn staircases into slides.
Levitate objects so you never have to get up from the couch again.
Control minds so that hot guy from your Econ recitation has to fall in love with you.
Protect yourself from dark sources (*cough* Huntsman).
