Confused Wharton Professor: I'm sure many of you have startups.

Scene veteran: I miss the days when kids just did blow. Now there's a drug for everything.

Burrito aficionado: I felt lost and alone when I heard about Chipotle's health code violation, but I found my way to comfort in Qdoba. 

Your local hype–beast: I'm currently choosing between two gold crowns for my teeth or a motorcycle. That's a real decision.

Devil who only wears Prada: I will not talk to you ever again if you wear CVS glasses.

Gym rat frat boy: I mean you don't see Arnold Schwarzenegger doing hot yoga.