September is the season of rejection, so it seems. Turn that frown upside–down with Highbrow’s list of little Penn victories.

  1. A normal, positive interaction on Locust Walk. None of that “wondering whether they’ll say hi or pretend they never saw you” nonsense. You both spotted each other; you know it, they know it, we all know it.
  2. Good workout at Pottruck. For the first time in a long time, your sheer willpower came through. 
  3. Revised club applications. There’s a Google form, but it’s only one page. God is real.
  4. Successfully BS–ing in class. You may not have exactly “read” the reading, but your professor looks impressed or at least appeased by your contribution. Aren’t you an intellectual!
  5. Grade salvation via curve. A victory for you, an L for someone else. Your GPA lives to see another day.
  6. Frat party done right. “Mr. Brightside” just came on and no drunk chick has hit you in the head with her elbow (yet).
  7. Getting the right answer on MyMathLab first try. Whoever decided that "1295π/144+(πln36)/2" would make an appropriate problem set answer is the actual spawn of Satan.
  8. Peace and (relative) quiet on College Green. There’s a man standing on the curb with a large sign and he’s shouting. Something about free watermelon? He wants you to take a slice and “have a nice day?” Wait, so you’re not going to hell? 
  9. Insomnia Cookies. Your on–again off–again hook up buddy has let you down countless times, but double chocolate mint would never. 
  10. Coffee chats at Stommons. But instead of feigning interest in what appears to be the fourth consulting club you’ve applied to this week, you’re actually drinking coffee and chatting with a friend who meant it when she said “let’s get coffee.” Follow through, my dudes. Follow through.
  11. Date night with that cutie in your Chem lab. Romance at Penn is as dead as your 8 a.m. math recitation, but one can only assume this feels like a victory.
  12. The three most beautiful words ever written in a Canvas notification. “Class is cancelled.”
  13. People who know the difference between Penn and Penn State. One small step for man, one giant leap for everyone who has ever been wronged by the question “Which campus?”
  14. Admitting you’ve had a bad day. Penn Face is a big fucking deal and we all have problems.

Comments

All comments eligible for publication in Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. publications.