Euphemism Extraordinaire: Someone sucked on my cigar if you know what I mean.
Sexually Disappointed: We didn’t make out; he just stuck his tongue down my throat.
Potential Bio Major Pointing at DNA Molecule: What’s that?
Nutrition Minor: Best crash diet I ever had: crippling depression.
Relationship Marxist: I hate it when attractive people date other attractive people. It’s not fair.
Sweetgreen Junkie: Did you hear about romaine?!? OMG it's soooo sad.
Layering Fiend: I’m just a swaddled bitch!
