Euphemism Extraordinaire: Someone sucked on my cigar if you know what I mean. 

Sexually Disappointed: We didn’t make out; he just stuck his tongue down my throat. 

Potential Bio Major Pointing at DNA Molecule: What’s that? 

Nutrition Minor: Best crash diet I ever had: crippling depression. 

Relationship Marxist: I hate it when attractive people date other attractive people. It’s not fair. 

Sweetgreen Junkie: Did you hear about romaine?!? OMG it's soooo sad. 

Layering Fiend: I’m just a swaddled bitch! 


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