Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson: "I have the traps of a wrestler, like a man wrestler."
Carpe–ing the D: "I lost my virginity while watching Dead Poets Society."
Gay Pornographer: "Yesss, eat his ass!"
Phyt–hoe–plankton: "I was fishing and you couldn't even crawl."
And They Were Roommates: "You're not a U–Haul lesbian, you're a down–the–hall lesbian."
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Notes From a Cuckoo Editor–in–Chief
In an increasingly dynamic startup world, some Penn students wonder whether higher education is necessary to keep up.
Solutions by The State News
