Campus Life
Ask Miss Cassandra: When your Partner is Out East and the STI Beasts
Dear Miss Cassandra, my boyfriend is in London for the semester and I want to try Skype sex.
What Your Penn Gear Says About You
Now that the Penn Bookstore is about 90% apparel, Ego couldn’t help but wonder: Who’s buying all this? If that who is you, allow us to make some uniformed judgement.
Ego of the Week: Matthew Gould
Matthew Gould is the man behind the Quaker. Underneath the mask, this dairy farming enthusiast enjoys the “occasional” chick flick, is passionate about manatees and has touched the Gutt’s butt.
Highbrow Horoscopes
Aries (March 21–April 20): People love being around you because of your vibrant and talkative nature.
Word on the Street: Victoria's Secret
“That’s it?” My first and only boyfriend stared with dismay at my pale, exposed 32A boobs. That was the first time I let a boy take off my bra.
Puck Frinceton? How We Feel vs. How They Feel
Penn’s school spirit is never more evident than when ragging on our rival, Princeton. Or should we say, “rival?” We knew Princeton wouldn’t reciprocate our contentious feelings, but the big shocker: it doesn’t seem like Penn kids care, either.
The Roundup: 11.7.2013
After four days of awkward–costumed walk of shames, Halloweekend has come and gone. You put away your cat ears and taking out your winter parkas.
Overheard at Penn: 11.7.2013
Bro in Pottruck sauna: This is like when I was in Israel and it was literally too hot for my iPhone to function.
Ask Miss Cassandra: Do U Lift Brah and the Vibrator–Ga–Ga
Whey to go, bruh
Tweet of the Week: 11.5.2013
I'm a tweetin', walkin' paradox, no I'm not—
Word on the Street: Things You Can't Black Out
“Mommy’s on the floor and she won’t get up.” Normally, I’d be mad at my sister for interrupting my homework, but on an otherwise regular Wednesday night of my junior year of high school, I knew that her tear–stained cheeks and panicked words overrode the importance of my A.P.
The Five People You'll Meet When Drunk
1. The Crier [media-credit name="Faryn Pearl" align="alignright" width="300"][/media-credit] She has a paper due tomorrow, she’s homesick and her dog died three years ago.
Ego of the Week: Maxwell Presser
Maxwell Presser is not just the “Chief Chief” of Sphinx—he’s the guy who might save your life this weekend. As the head of MERT, Maxwell has your health in mind. Just please don’t call him Max.
The Round Up: 10.31.2013
Trick–or–treat, lovelies! Actually, you don’t have to pick, because Highbrow has a real treat this ’Ween.
Overheard at Penn: 10.31.2013
Girl discussing Halloween costume: We should just be tribal people. But, like, without being racist.
Dispatch: Butt Chugging
10:01 p.m.: Supplies: Beer, check. Vodka, check. Funnel, check. Butt, check. 10:07 p.m.: Lock myself in the bathroom and turn on the shower to hide what I’m doing from my roommates.
9 Boozey Ways to Stock a College Dorm Room
Unfortunately, the average Penn student’s room does not contain a bar. So, where can you put all those bottles? Take note of the nine best places to put the alcohol that’s not already in your stomach.
