Campus Life
Ask McCassandra: McDonald's and McCuddles
This article was originally published as part of the joke issue on 12.5.2013 How can I spice up my sex life? If there’s one question that Miss Cassandra gets over and over, it’s this one.
Dispatch: 50 McNugget Challenge
This article was originally published as part of the joke issue on 12.5.2013 50 Nuggets. 30 Minutes.
McFeel the McBurn
This article was originally published as part of the joke issue on 12.5.2013 Look, it’s an objective fact that McDonald’s is best at at 3 a.m. Yet—hold on to your socks, ’cause this is going to blow your mind—everything at McDonald's contains calories.
Flirting at McDonald’s: The Guide You Never Knew You Needed
Let Ronald McDonald be the wingman beneath your wings. Order these items, and soon your crush will be begging for your Quarter Pounder.
The Round Up: McDonald's
This article was originally published as part of the joke issue on 12.5.2013 Ah, don’t you just love the smell of Big Macs in the morning?
Overheard at McDonald's
This article was originally published as part of the joke issue on 12.5.2013 McD’s patron: If I died and went to heaven… I would still be here.
Ego of the Week: Jameson Digby
This article was originally published as part of the joke issue on 12.5.2013 Jameson Digby is the man behind your 3 a.m.
An Open Letter to: McDonald's
This article was originally published as part of the joke issue on 12.5.2013 My Dearest, Dirtiest McDonald’s, I’m young, broke, hungry and most likely drunk, so what do I do?
Ego Presents: Things We Should Be Thankful For
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Ego of the Week: Monica Schechter
As co–president of Kite and Key and co–editor–in–chief of the Pennsylvania Punchbowl, Monica Schechter has to walk the line between being educational and funny every day. Her easy solution? Puns. Cat puns.
Ask Miss Cassandra: Ingrown Hairs and Threesomes Laid–Bare
So I keep getting ingrown hair and I know it’s ingrown hairs and not an STD, but I’m worried that other people won’t.
Van Pelt Dos and Don'ts
If you find yourself on a serious date with Van Pelt, there are a few rules you need to follow. It may not be as intimidating as Fisher Fine Arts, but VP definitely has its own etiquette. Don’t dress to impress, but don’t dress like a slob either. Van Pelt is probably one of the most SABS–y locations on campus when you’re getting your studying on.
Penn Ebay Essentials
Penn Cornhole Carrier Do you ever just find yourself saying, “I have all this cornhole gear, but nothing to carry it with!”? Well never fear, eBay has the goods for you.
Ego of the Week: The Men of BMOC
The boys of AXO’s annual philanthropy event, Big Man On Campus, are back. This year, they’re taller, they’re hairier and, let the record show, they’re all afraid of Dhamaka. Street: What makes you a true BMOC? Ben Slocum: Chest hair.
Word on the Street: Everybody Has a Story
The other day, I was reading in Van Pelt when a girl in my sorority walked by. I waved hello as she passed and she came back to chat.
Overheard at Penn
Sorority girl: I’ll wax anything for you.
Ask Miss Cassandra: When your Partner is Out East and the STI Beasts
Dear Miss Cassandra, my boyfriend is in London for the semester and I want to try Skype sex.
